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Photo by Jacob Lund/Shutterstock (Licensed)
If you’re bad at sex, it’s certainly not advisable to broadcast it all over your social media. And if you’re not sure whether you’ve made a woman orgasm, perhaps it’s best just to wonder forever. But whatever you do, please don’t do what this poor dude did. Wonder out loud if the female orgasm is actually a myth.
Because, in essence, what this man named Kyle accomplished was to out himself as somebody who’s probably not very good in bed. And he did it in the name of science. And sexology. And sociology, I suppose.
Kyle, my man... pic.twitter.com/2dwZqCTRY9— Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) November 18, 2017
Naturally, the ensuing jokes came quick and in neverending waves.
Oh Kyle. Oh honey. https://t.co/zCBVDe7NZ2— Alisha Rai (@AlishaRai) November 18, 2017
Yes. Women actually orgasm. You'll know it when you see it. Send apology flowers to your former paramours, Kyle. https://t.co/vcXfhRRy8Y— JenLars (@TheJenLars) November 18, 2017
literally a hundred years of scientific study on the female orgasm including anatomy, tissue, circulatory, stimuli, and hormonal studies. test subjects, surveys, focus groups, and half the population confirms it's real cuz they be women.— Mary Queen of Knocks (@TaraNotTahra) November 18, 2017
but Kyle sucks at sex so he is skeptical.
Kyle is partially correct -- he has experienced no evidence that women orgasm.— Dr. Pete Meyers (@dr_pete) November 18, 2017
I'm thinking Kyle's studies have been of the solo variety... https://t.co/DElviiVsGm— Kelly AuCoin (@KellyAuCoin77) November 18, 2017
Kyle: Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams.— Max Weiss (@maxthegirl) November 18, 2017
Also Kyle: The female orgasm is fake news.
That criticism didn’t stop Kyle from continuing his passage of discovery.
I don’t know if Kyle’s friends are gonna be much help... pic.twitter.com/gdiJXSmFlK— Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) November 18, 2017
Update on Kyle: he’s now edited the post to link to some song lyrics he posted? pic.twitter.com/ndt5WMZJAp— Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) November 19, 2017
But it raises this question: Was Kyle making a subtle joke? If so, bravo; you fooled a bunch of people. Is Kyle even real? It’s unclear. Either way, Kyle probably didn’t help himself with this tweet.
Hey, Kyle. Less talking, more practicing.
Anyway, it doesn’t really matter if Kyle is serious or playing a prank on everybody. Hell, maybe he’s never had sex before (or maybe he’s the ultimate ladies’ man who has left behind a trail of satisfied lovers). Either way, sometimes a good joke on Twitter, whether it’s true or false, is enough to be the climactic experience of your day.
Josh Katzowitz is a staff writer at the Daily Dot specializing in YouTube and boxing. His work has appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, and Los Angeles Times. A longtime sports writer, he's covered the NFL for CBSSports.com and boxing for Forbes. His work has been noted twice in the Best American Sports Writing book series.