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Someone on eBay is selling a horrifying haunted porcelain doll

What do you get the person who has everything?


Greg Seals

Internet Culture

Posted on Feb 16, 2015   Updated on May 29, 2021, 12:52 pm CDT

Did you manage to ruin another Valentine’s Day by forgetting to buy your sweetheart a token of your affection? Instead of scrounging the aisles of your local drugstore for half-priced boxes of chocolate and cheap plastic flowers, say “I love you” with a gift as unique as she is: a haunted doll

That’s right, eBay has once again proved that it’s the preeminent shopping destination for all your paranormal needs, this time offering up a horrifying porcelain baby doll. While the seller is located in Alpine, Wy., the description of the doll suggests that it came from the depths of hell.

This is another one of my haunted dolls she is a sweet little reminds me of a child playing tricks on you, she likes too change spots and positions, you can hear giggling

If you’re interested in making this demented doll your very own, you should act fast; at press time, there was only an hour and a half left in the auction, which ends at 5:45pm EST on Monday.

According to her profile, umbd_jenn has a 100% positive feedback rating from such transactions as an “awesome creepy statue,” and she’s a fast shipper to boot. Rest assured that your ghoulish goods will arrive in record time. 

Beware, however, of the indestructible bond that will form once you buy this possessed piece of porcelain. According to the seller’s description, there are “no returns.” Something tells us that no matter how fervently you tried to rid yourself of this demonic little doll, she’d keep reappearing on your bed, face up, staring at you with those horrifyingly dead eyes.

Update 5:35pm CT, Feb. 16: Bidding has ended and the doll ended up selling for a cool $15 plus $10.55 in shipping costs.

Photo via cogdog/Flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0)

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*First Published: Feb 16, 2015, 6:12 pm CST