Nana B Agyei/Flickr

Cool professor has perfect reply to drunk email from student

Professor Martin truly is slaying.

Feb 29, 2020, 10:00 pm*

Internet Culture


Josh Katzowitz

Honesty is often the best policy, but if we’re really being honest, it’s also a risky one. Still, sometimes you have to let it all hang out and hope for the best.

A presumed college student named Patrick Davidson did just that one evening upon finding himself plastered and in need of extra time to complete an assignment. His drunken mess of an email contained straight, unvarnished truth, and it turns out he was spot-on in predicting a positive response from his professor.

a student emails his professor while drunk. results are amazing

I love how Davidson opens the email with regrets over his professor’s follicle misfortune and confidence that he might find Mr. Martin a girl who can restore his hair and, possibly, his libido. Only then does Davidson ask for the favor. In this business, we call that burying the lede—in everyone else’s business, we call that sucking up—but Davidson’s slightly negging offer of help was apparently the smart call.

And Mr. Martin! How cool are you? Also, what classes do you teach, so I can immediately enroll in whatever college employs you, so I can learn to be this chill?

Finally, I have no idea what “good yard” means to these two, but if you type that phrase into a search engine, here’s what turns up.


Dudes just can’t let the hair thing go, can they.

Photo via Nana B Agyei/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

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*First Published: Aug 10, 2015, 4:13 pm