#Protip for all you aspiring fugitives out there: Get a cat.
Drug suspect Diego Martinez-Espinoza eluded the feds in Chesterfield County, Va., this week by removing his court-ordered GPS tracking device and placing it on a cat. Espinoza is believed to have fled the state and, quite likely, the country.
The local news had some fun with the story, calling it a “game of cat and mouse,” and speculated that Espinoza may have placed the device on his feline friend “on purpose.” (Emphasis theirs.) The cat in question reportedly dealt with harsh “chirps” and notices to call authorities for days.
Unfortunately, according to the report, despite having “cat-like reflexes,” or as cats call them, reflexes, the animal “didn’t have the number—or the thumbs—to dial.”
Espinoza had been arrested for “trying to manufacture, sell, give or distribute more than 10 kilograms of cocaine hydrochloride [aka regular old cocaine] by concealing it in the drum of a dryer.” Anyone with info regarding his whereabouts is encouraged to call 1-877-WANTED-2.
Just one more thing: Have feds considered the possibility that the cat is Espinoza? It’s the purr-fect cover story.