An endangered sea turtle was found trapped between more than two dozen floating bundles of cocaine off the Florida coast by the U.S. Coast Guard last month, and a video of the discovery has gone viral.
The US Coast Guard rescued a sea turtle entangled in bundles of cocaine off the coast of Florida pic.twitter.com/woQfUEMDWv— CNN (@CNN) December 20, 2017
The story is, of course, sad because it’s yet another example of a human-caused wildlife injury. The turtle had “significant chaffing” on its neck and flippers from the rope that held the drug bundles together, which in total were valued at more than $53 million. Many people saw it as yet another terrible news report from the year 2017.
I don't know what would make this story worse, if this just happened accidentally, or was done on purpose.— Tere Kirkland 🦀 IT SHOULD BE LEAH CIRCLE (@TereKirkland) December 21, 2017
Either way, humans are terrible. Sorry, turtle. https://t.co/VgsyPB2DV1
But, wait, what if the turtle was actually the drug dealer?
this drug smuggling turtle tricked all u https://t.co/RQN6w2mWGd— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) December 20, 2017
This turtle is the greatest drug dealer of all time.— Alex Edelman (@AlexEdelman) December 21, 2017
“Uh yeah that’s right officer I got tangled” https://t.co/qIqeQGQaUW
Meanwhile on Turtle Twitter:— The Hoarse Whisperer (@HoarseWisperer) December 20, 2017
"Got pinched by the Coast Guard but totally pulled off the whole 'Oh, noes! How did I get tangled up in all this coke!?' thing..." https://t.co/57YSTaue9j
People worried about the fate of the turtle and its family.
I hope you’re happy you showed this sea turtle’s face. He has a family who’s gonna be murdered by the cartel he was smuggling for. I’m disgusted. https://t.co/IwkIQHSpA7— gwack gwack slrrrp *spit* slrrp gwack gwack inhale (@FLOTJM) December 21, 2017
Now the turtle is gonna turn up dead because someone didn't get their delivery. https://t.co/tyHXOcJT5U— Freckle Goddess 🦊 (@WhoIsDommie) December 20, 2017
The incident also set up Franklin the Turtle jokes…
Coast guard pulled up and he was like pic.twitter.com/6fQmzqEySV— Gage Gray (@GageGray) December 20, 2017
Smh, Franklin. Another child star lost to drug abuse https://t.co/3CLhc48tWO— sarah schauer 🦂 (@SJSchauer) December 20, 2017
…and plenty of turtle-on-cocaine jokes.
TURTLE ON COCAINE:— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) December 21, 2017
I... feel... like..... I'm... the... king... of... the.... world.
Dude slow down I can't understand you.
That turtle 30 minutes later pic.twitter.com/4DcqHv69PQ— Frank Costanza (@cancermoonking) December 20, 2017
The story has a happy ending: The turtle was set free. (No charges.)