Endangered turtle caught in $52 million cocaine bust

An endangered sea turtle was found trapped between more than two dozen floating bundles of cocaine off the Florida coast by the U.S. Coast Guard last month, and a video of the discovery has gone viral.

The US Coast Guard rescued a sea turtle entangled in bundles of cocaine off the coast of Florida pic.twitter.com/woQfUEMDWv

— CNN (@CNN) December 20, 2017

The story is, of course, sad because it’s yet another example of a human-caused wildlife injury. The turtle had “significant chaffing” on its neck and flippers from the rope that held the drug bundles together, which in total were valued at more than $53 million. Many people saw it as yet another terrible news report from the year 2017.

https://twitter.com/DrShaena/status/943533090051371008

I don't know what would make this story worse, if this just happened accidentally, or was done on purpose.

Either way, humans are terrible. Sorry, turtle. https://t.co/VgsyPB2DV1

— Tere Kirkland 🦀 (@TereKirkland) December 21, 2017

But, wait, what if the turtle was actually the drug dealer?

this drug smuggling turtle tricked all u https://t.co/RQN6w2mWGd

— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) December 20, 2017

https://twitter.com/AlexEdelman/status/943735876554711041

Meanwhile on Turtle Twitter:

"Got pinched by the Coast Guard but totally pulled off the whole 'Oh, noes! How did I get tangled up in all this coke!?' thing…" https://t.co/57YSTaue9j

— The Hoarse Whisperer (@TheRealHoarse) December 20, 2017

People worried about the fate of the turtle and its family.

I hope you’re happy you showed this sea turtle’s face. He has a family who’s gonna be murdered by the cartel he was smuggling for. I’m disgusted. https://t.co/IwkIQHSpA7

— 🇵🇸🤲🏾 (@FLOTJM) December 21, 2017

Now the turtle is gonna turn up dead because someone didn't get their delivery. https://t.co/tyHXOcJT5U

— 💀Freckle Goddess💀 (@WhoIsDommie) December 20, 2017

The incident also set up Franklin the Turtle jokes…

Coast guard pulled up and he was like pic.twitter.com/6fQmzqEySV

— Gage Gray (@GageGray) December 20, 2017

Smh, Franklin. Another child star lost to drug abuse https://t.co/3CLhc48tWO

— sarah schauer 🦂 (@sarahschauer) December 20, 2017

…and plenty of turtle-on-cocaine jokes.

TURTLE ON COCAINE:
I… feel… like….. I'm… the… king… of… the…. world.

OTHER TURTLE:
Dude slow down I can't understand you.

— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) December 21, 2017

https://twitter.com/danielgolan94/status/943596078091382784

The story has a happy ending: The turtle was set free. (No charges.)