- The best ‘Game of Thrones’ memes to get you pumped for season 8 5 Years Ago
- Amazon Echo Show (2nd Gen) vs Google Home Hub: Which is better? 5 Years Ago
- Solange sings along to Ariana Grande on Instagram Stories—and fans are obsessed 5 Years Ago
- How to stream the entire ’30 For 30′ series for free Today 6:30 AM
- Swipe This! My happiest Facebook Memories are making me miserable Today 6:30 AM
- Musketeers: Welcome to the global Elon Musk fan network Today 6:00 AM
- Lawsuit alleges YouTube’s unboxing videos are ‘abusive’ ads aimed at kids Sunday 3:48 PM
- Dr. Dre shades Lori Loughlin with Instagram flex about his daughter getting into USC Sunday 3:13 PM
- University of Georgia frat’s racist Snapchat video draws campus outrage Sunday 1:21 PM
- Facing criticism for eating fish, vegan YouTube star Rawvana speaks out Sunday 10:47 AM
- Arnold Schwarzenegger chases mini-pony in new TikTok video Sunday 9:19 AM
- Review: ‘Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice’ is a cut above the rest Sunday 8:00 AM
- Where do 2020 Democratic candidates stand on healthcare? Sunday 7:30 AM
- How to (legally) stream live TV on Kodi Sunday 7:00 AM
- ‘Delhi Crime’ tackles inequality and women’s rights Sunday 7:00 AM
Successful Kickstarter to end with creator eating a Chipotle burrito while skydiving
Ask and ye shall receive.
The next time you find yourself a dollar short of the perfect lunch, consider asking for a helping hand online: by promising to pseudo-scientifically quantify the deliciousness of an $8 Chipotle chicken burrito, Chicago man Noboru Bitoy got strangers to buy it for him.
Bitoy’s Kickstarter, “Graphing the deliciousness of a chicken burrito!,” quickly surpassed its modest goal by some 9,000 percent, putting it in the running for the greatest success in the crowdfunding site’s history. The praise was unanimous: “This is a fantastic project!” read a typical comment, while other backers pitched in with T-shirt ideas and expressed logistical concerns, such as whether Bitoy had enough experience as a burrito eater, or what would happen if he dropped his food on the floor.
True to his word, Bitoy consumed the burrito without incident and gave it a favorable “Yum!” rating, one notch below the chart-topping “Wow!”
With excess money flowing in, Bitoy added stretch goals and expanded the scope of his culinary investigation. He pledged to try 24 permutations of the Chipotle burrito formula and assess whether saving the burritos to eat the following day affected their overall tastiness.
The masterstroke was Bitoy’s final, audacious promise. “The other night I was thinking, ‘How much more delicious would a Chicken Burrito from Chipotle be… if I was plummeting from the heavens?’” he wrote. For $500—carefully itemized—he would “make an infographic detailing just how delicious a chicken burrito is when eaten during a SKYDIVE.”
With that threshold easily crossed as well, it appears Bitoy will indeed have a chance to satisfy a Chipotle craving while in freefall. The only problem is that afterwards, no burrito will ever taste as good.
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'