- Angry Bloomberg asks debate moderators if he’s ‘chicken liver’ Wednesday 9:29 PM
- Elizabeth Warren savages everyone else’s healthcare plan Wednesday 9:07 PM
- K-Pop stans help push ‘Pooping for Kaitlin’ hashtag mocking Kent State gun girl Wednesday 8:54 PM
- Fans speculate after learning Pop Smoke posted address prior to fatal home invasion Wednesday 8:11 PM
- Jar of human tongues found in Florida has people shook Wednesday 6:39 PM
- Video of Blueface teaching Obama lookalike to dance is turning heads Wednesday 5:58 PM
- ‘No one has the range’ for this meme Wednesday 5:21 PM
- Mom confronts man who followed daughter through grocery store in viral video Wednesday 5:05 PM
- Major study linking vaping to heart attacks gets retracted Wednesday 4:36 PM
- George Zimmerman is suing Pete Buttigieg, Elizabeth Warren Wednesday 2:55 PM
- Netflix’s ‘Horse Girl’ accused of ripping off 2017 indie film Wednesday 2:52 PM
- The Genyus Network is a safe social space for stroke survivors Wednesday 2:20 PM
- MAGA hat-wearing dog finishes last in ‘Today Show’ fan vote—still named winner Wednesday 2:03 PM
- Reddit users share stories of the worst things guests have done in their homes Wednesday 1:25 PM
- WikiLeaks lawyer says Trump offered Assange a pardon—if he’d deny Russian hack Wednesday 1:16 PM
“Ordering stuff online is easy and fun,” they say.
I can’t stop buying stuff online it’s just so easy
— Sophia (@sobbinggoth) August 24, 2016
“Why go shopping IRL when you can buy it on the internet,” they say.
Internet shopping is 5 trillion times more fun than irl high street shopping
— Jo Graham (@thejoannagraham) December 31, 2015
“I’m socially awkward and don’t like being around huge crowds when I buy food, so l have it delivered to me,” they say.
I wanna order food but don’t want an awkward encounter w the delivery man😂
— aliya (@aliyyaa__) May 24, 2016
“The internet is the new mall,” they say.
I hate buy something in a mall… The sellers are horribles… they don’t know nothing… fake… bad mood .the internet is better 😌
— ALINE VALVERDE (@AlineValverde79) August 5, 2016
“Why would I buy a sex toy from a sex shop? Buying one online is less awkward and saves me time so I can engage in activities besides buying sex toys,” they say.
I need to go on that Internet networking system and buy me some sex toys
— リサフランク420 (@Meekrat45) September 11, 2013
But what happens when ordering things online is hard? What happens when your internet is down? What happens if your city is having a blizzard and no one can deliver any food to your socially awkward ass? What happens when your crush is at the mall and texts you to meet them there? And what happens when you order a sex toy online for a decent price, only to realize when it arrives that it’s nothing more than a cheap knockoff?
Yes, customers on Amazon are livid that they ordered Fleshlights they thought were the genuine article but turned out to be fake as hell. What’s more, this product has been getting one-star reviews for years, which makes us wonder if these dudes could use some shopping advice.
Regardless, please imagine finally receiving your Fleshlight in the mail and then immediately getting a chemical burn from it. Poor Steven.
“Rubbing your wang on the gym floor.” No Fleshlight should make a man feel this way.
Mr. Hardenbrook was so distraught with his purchase that this is all that was said.
Drew was not only was disappointed with his Fleshlight, but he had to go through the embarrassment of telling his wife about it. Someone send this guy a free, authentic Fleshlight immediately.
Thank you, Amazon Customer, for the fake Fleshlight warning. You are a gentleman and scholar.
#Counterfeitfleshlightgate has even found its way to Reddit.
So the moral of the story is: Do what that Reddit user suggested. Buy from the official Fleshlight site or don your favorite incognito gear and head to your local sex shop and purchase it IRL. You might just end up meeting the love of your life, which means you won’t even need that sex toy.
Lots of guys like to pick up chicks at clubs or bars.I first met my girlfriend at a sex shop.As you can see in my pic, we’re a happy couple!
— SeaBreeze (@seabreeze6669) July 6, 2011
Oh, and if all else fails—just make your own!