8 perfect books for Banned Books Week

What if your favorite book were outlawed?

It’s not that far-fetched an idea. All around the world, and even in the United States, authoritarian bodies suppress books for their content—be it political, sexual, or religious. And sometimes, as in the case of Duke University freshmen rejecting the inclusion of Alison Bechdel’s Fun Home on their summer syllabus, readers themselves shut out certain voices.

That’s why Banned Books Week (Sept. 27 to Oct. 3) is so crucial: It allows bookworms across the country take notice of censorship in their own communities and, even better, gives them a chance to suggest other books that ought to be banned before they can do more damage. With this sacred duty in mind, we humbly nominate the following books for prohibition.

1) Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

Glamorizes orphanhood and wizardry, which could be offensive to Muggle children with parents. 

2) Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Thoughtlessly demonizes snakes on almost every page! #NotAllSnakes.

3) Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Whitewashes the prison-industrial complex. Unacceptable.

4) Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

This one is all about sports—which are, by their very nature, exclusionary and problematic. Get rid of it.

5) Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Puberty and emotional depth? Keep that the hell away from my kids!

6) Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

The title says it all: racially charged and panders to royalty, which most of us are not. Downright dangerous.

7) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Would be fine, except for that horrible epilogue. BANNED.

8) The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn  

Promotes unsupervised river rafting.

Photo via Les Chatfield/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

Miles Klee

Miles Klee

Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions,  and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'