These are not the droids you’re looking for.
There’s no wrong way to celebrate Star Wars Day—except one.
Whether you want to dress up as your favorite character, play hooky to overanalyze what little we know about The Last Jedi, binge-watch all the movies, or just tell someone “May the Fourth be with you,” you’ll be doing your part to spread the joy of Star Wars just a little further. But if you’re going to go the binge-watch route (and we’re jealous, seeing as it falls smack dab in the middle of a work week this year), you can do way better than TBS’s marathon showing on Thursday.
Here’s everything that’s wrong with the TBS Star Wars movie marathon.
1) It’s on TBS
First things first: It’s 2017; what are you still doing with a cable subscription? Between Hulu, Amazon Prime, Netflix, HBO Go, and things like Sling TV, it seems like everybody and their mother has cut the cord by now. Even if you haven’t, if you really intend to marathon the franchise properly, you’ll want to own the DVDs or Blu-rays to enjoy them in all their commercial-free glory.
That way, you also know what you’re getting when it comes to the edit. Will TBS be airing the despecialized editions?
2) It starts too damn early
The Phantom Menace kicks things off at 6:40am ET. Who in George Lucas’ name wants to be awake and functional and welcoming the obnoxious oddball of Jar Jar Binks into their consciousness at 6:40 in the morning? God help the Pacific Coasters, who’d surely have to still be drunk from the night before to get this rolling at 3:40am.
3) It’s in the wrong order
There is certainly an argument to be made for watching these in story order: that is, episode I, II, III, IV, V, VI. There’s a separate camp that believes the movies should be watched in release order: the original trilogy of IV, V, VI, followed by the prequels from the ’00s, I, II, and III.
But a widely preferred variant of those two is what’s known as Machete Order: IV, V, II, III, VI (or, for those less well-versed in Roman numerals, 4, 5, 2, 3, 6). Episode I is banished entirely, as it should be, no matter what you hear. The rest of the series is arranged in the optimal story arc, which you can read more about here. Viewers get to the climactic “Luke, I am your father” moment at the end of Episode V, then flash back to Anakin’s youth to watch his rise—or descent—to Vaderdom.
4) It’s missing the latest releases
If you’re really a completist with these movies, you’ll absolutely want to include 2015’s The Force Awakens (aka Episode VII) and last year’s Rogue One, which operates seamlessly as a prequel to Episode IV. The new slate of releases is largely to thank/blame for the nonstop Star Wars mania consuming society these days, so it feels only right to honor them on Star Wars Day too.
My grouchiness aside, enjoy the holiday while it lasts, because once it’s over, it’s back to nonstop hype for the forthcoming Last Jedi until its release Dec. 15.
H/T Huffington Post
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