The Hater: Leave Nicki Minaj Alone!

We love the Internet. Except when we hate it. Every week, Jordan Valinsky bottles the angst of his Millennial generation and finds something to despise about the Web.

When Nicki Minaj speaks, we’re trained to listen very closely.

So when Minaj spouted off her neon-infected lips saying she was pro-Mitt Romney, Twitter users, political journalists, and confused BuzzFeed commenters not only listened but also lost their minds. I imagine they all looked like Minaj’s weird performance at the 2012 Grammys, and it involved a lot of levitating, screeching yelps, and a few costume changes.

The avid Claire’s shopper uttered the words “I’m a Republican voting for Mitt Romney, you lazy bitches is fucking up the economy,” on the just-released fourth installment of Lil Wayne’s Dedication mixtape series. Look, I don’t know anything about mixtapes or how seriously as a society we’re supposed to dissect them, but we all pretended like Minaj released her national platform and only dissected those 14 words.

Her platform, however, did touch on some key issues! She supports a liberal immigration policy (“I came from Trinidad on a temporary visa”), wants to end imports on foreign automobiles so we shop domestic (“Fuck fuck your Lambo, fuck fuck your Murcie”), and is on board with Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” campaign. (“Drop it to the floor make that dick shake.”.

On the flip side, however, she failed to include the word God, makes no mention of whether she supports Jerusalem being Israel’s capital, and I have no idea if she’s pro-SOPA or not. It’s like “Um, hi, Nicki, if you can rhyme the word Weezy, I’m sure you can include the words ‘Stop Online Piracy Act’ in the mixtape.”

I can’t get over those glaring omissions; but, moreover, people on Twitter can’t handle the claim she’s a Republican. Even though she’s (probably?) not, because that would be career suicide.

But since we interpret rappers’ mixtapes as the absolute truth, and the controversial line got even more attention thanks to an irresponsible posting from BuzzFeed, people believed it. Crazy people are now tweeting death threats at Minaj, according to a very real website called All Hip-Hop News.

“wait.. Nicki Minaj said on this Mercy track that she’s a Republican and voting for Romney. reason #3920492 why Nicki gotta die,” tweeted @Amazing_Aura. I really want her to list the other 3,920,491 reasons because that seems like a fun, brain-scratching exercise.

Another person tweeted, “Nicki Minaj can go die in a hole; stupid Republican!” which seems like a very ineffective way to kill someone. Other tweets directed at Minaj include the pro-death verbiage of “stupid,” “hoe,” “die,” “bitch,” and “no talent,” so shuffle around those words to make your very own anti-Minaj tweet in the comfort of your own home.

In the sound-bite craving, small attention span-having, GIF-gazing world we live in, the word “context” is being treated like it’s the dirty c-word. The song is obviously tongue-in-cheek ode about “vanity and hubris,” and you’re an idiot if you don’t grasp that after listening to it at least once. Also, if you believe the Romney lyric, then you must also believe she’s in Miami “chilling with a zombie.”

Sure, maybe she’s serious about voting for Romney/Ryan come November, but with virtually zero support from blacks, that’s likely not happening.

If we’re going to believe lyrics from a mixtape and spout off ignorant death threats to someone who might have different views (but probably doesn’t), then maybe some of us need our ears checked out.

Photo via Christopher Macsurak/Flickr

Jordan Valinsky

Jordan Valinsky

A former editorial operations specialist and staff writer for the Daily Dot, Jordan Valinsky is a tech reporter and web culture commentator. His work has been published by the Week, Digiday, CNNMoney, Popular Mechanics, Vice, Mic, and Betabeat.