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9 GIFs Hillary Clinton should use to announce her presidential campaign
An animated image is worth a thousand stump speeches.
There’s no denying it any longer: Our dreadful 18-month presidential election season is about to kick into high gear, with Hillary Clinton expected to announce her candidacy on Sunday on social media.
A couple of Republicans have already tossed their hats into the ring, and Clinton would do well to learn from the early mistakes of Sen. Ted Cruz (letting domain trolls run wild), Sen. Rand Paul (condescending to journalists), and former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush (claiming to be Hispanic), who hasn’t yet officially declared what we all know to be true.
But neither should she play things too conservatively in hopes of avoiding a similar gaffe. In fact, if she really wants to galvanize the youth vote (read: “Tumblr”), she might consider an increasingly popular medium for this weekend’s big announcement: the humble GIF.
1) Getting down in South Africa
Ever since her tenure as First Lady in the 1990s, Clinton has tried to shed an impression of frostiness. This funky-fresh GIF delivers a simple message: “Not only am I more easygoing than you thought—I’m also a better dancer than Obama.”
2) A word from Queen Bey
If Clinton wants to go the other route, however, and meet negative stereotypes of strong, independent women head-on, she could do a lot worse than invoke Beyoncé, whom Americans are legally required to love.
Actually, why stop there? Hillary knows that any Republican opponent is bound to harp on her failures as Secretary of State during the deadly 2012 attack on American diplomats in Benghazi, Libya. May as well troll the truthers still whining about it.
4) Whatever this thing from the new Star Wars movie is
One thing Americans like a hell of a lot more than politics is Star Wars. Even people who don’t really care about Star Wars would prefer it to a Democratic primary. “Haters gonna hate” just pushes this into stratospheric levels of relatability.
5) Exit Bill
People always talk about Hill’s personal baggage, what with her sort-of-disgraced but still insanely popular ex-president husband Bill in the picture. He’ll make an amusing First Husband in time, but for now, send him packing!
6) White House being blown up by a flying saucer
No better way to communicate that you plan on making some serious changes in Washington. Should go over especially well with those wackos who think the solution to every problem in federal government is to demolish it entirely.
7) Dude in an America suit shooting machine guns
“PATRIOTISM, MOTHERFUCKERS.” —Hillary Clinton
8) Donkey befriending kitten
Republicans sure are proud of their elephant mascot; would be nice to see Democrats embrace their donkey affiliation once more. Meanwhile, you can never go wrong with kittens, which rarely endorse a candidate.
9) Deluge of blood
Hillary has been in politics so long, she can have but one motive for seeking the presidency: revenge. This gory GIF will serve as a warning that when she is elected, the halls of power will run red with the blood of her enemies.
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'