These days it’s become particularly difficult to know just which white people you can trust.
That’s not to say that there aren’t any great white people—take Ricky John Best and Taliesin Myrddin Namkai Meche, who were killed by a white supremacist last month when they attempted to stop him from verbally attacking two teen Muslim girls, and Micah David-Cole Fletcher, who survived the attempted murder. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that there are some folks, like the Bernie Sanders-supporting white-supremacist murderer guy, who you should best look out for.
Cue these handy dandy Twitter memes from the mind of one LaShon Washington, a Particularly Hilarious tweeter who brings up a very good point: Despite growing xenophobia and reported hate crimes against Muslims, we may want to be a tad more concerned with these certain brands of alt-right-leaning and “liberal”-claiming white people.
why are people so afraid of Muslims when there are like 38 Pokémon types of white folks you should avoid at all times— Ashtray, Bitch! (@mightyrectum) June 5, 2017
lets take a repeated look at some of the white people who should have you checking for your nearest exit:— Ashtray, Bitch! (@mightyrectum) June 5, 2017
First, we have the white person who most certainly will never be held accountable for anything he says or does because he’s got money:
the Preppy White:— Ashtray, Bitch! (@mightyrectum) June 5, 2017
-wants nudes but will call you slut after
-will probably date rape you
-father knows every judge pic.twitter.com/QZQJvT7v5c
Then, the inexplicably racist white person:
the Heritage, Not Hate White:— Ashtray, Bitch! (@mightyrectum) June 5, 2017
-stays in camo
-believes all lives matter
-calls people nigger in comment sections pic.twitter.com/b6Yau8ZwiC
The white person who’s without a doubt a congressman:
the 1st Amendment White:— Ashtray, Bitch! (@mightyrectum) June 5, 2017
-advocates religious freedom
-wants to ban muslims
-anti LGBT but has Grindr on his phone pic.twitter.com/A3BCqEg8BP
The white person who you might not be too comfortable around if left by yourselves:
the Too Quiet White:— Ashtray, Bitch! (@mightyrectum) June 5, 2017
-has a notebook with nothing but names written on 1 page
-carries a duffle bag pic.twitter.com/CwqIlzlS7R
A triple-hitter of any vaguely liberal white person who claims they’re all for (some type of) equality, but won’t walk the walk, or thinks race has little to do with politics.
the Fiscally Conservative Socially Liberal White:— Ashtray, Bitch! (@mightyrectum) June 5, 2017
-wonders why you make everything about race
-argues a lot on FB pic.twitter.com/lCpxh3hWz4
The extremely patriotic white person who is still very, very racist:
the Free Speech White:— Ashtray, Bitch! (@mightyrectum) June 5, 2017
-has never served
-just wants to say "nigger" in peace
-watches interracial porn pic.twitter.com/f26VUmqBDF
The obsessively Christian white person who says that life is precious and all lives matter, expect when it comes to anyone who doesn’t look like them:
And then the white people who face prejudice themselves, but thinks that means they can’t be racist because of it:
the I Can't Be Racist I'm Gay White:— Ashtray, Bitch! (@mightyrectum) June 5, 2017
-has "just a preference" in his bio
-calls himself a strong BW pic.twitter.com/RKKbhjjTUa
And while Washington didn’t create this last little ditty, we also have the stock Tomi Lahren:
Sure, yes, those weren’t 38 different memes, but at least these “new” classifications will come in handy.
i'd say there's a solid 50 Pokémon types of white folks to avoid. 38 is a conservative estimate— linds (@linds_ballard) June 5, 2017
Thanks for updating my whypepo pokédeck— NoOldWyteDudes2020 (@ElviaRO) June 5, 2017
Washington did not immediately respond to Daily Dot’s request for comment.