Trans man shares what cis men say when they ‘let their guard down’


‘I bet you’re getting some tonight’: Trans man spills what cis men say when they ‘let their guard down’

‘The way they talk about women is as if they’re a different species.’


V Roth


Alex Renee, a transgender TikToker with a following of 7.5 million followers, recently shared some of the shocking things that cisgender men have been saying to him since he began transitioning. 

Alex celebrated one year on testosterone in July and has been sharing his experience of transitioning on his TikTok since the very beginning.

He says now that he’s passing as a cisgender man in public, the way that other men have been behaving toward him and speaking to him has significantly changed.

One of the ways this change has culminated is with sexually suggestive comments about his female friends. 

In a viral video with 2.4 million views from Aug. 15, Alex describes the irritating reaction he received to the simple act of getting into an Uber with his friends. “Oooh, we got a ladies’ man. … I bet you’re gettin’ some tonight, huh?” Alex quotes men saying to him. “Ladies man! I can’t believe you’re hanging out with all those ladies.” 

@stapleyourmouthshut #trans ♬ original sound – alex renee

The statements offer a concerning glimpse into the mindsets that the cis, straight men who offer these unwanted comments seem to share. 

Alex describes this behavior as cis men “letting their guards down” now that he passes, suggesting that they no longer feel the need to modify their behavior. They believe that because they’re in the company of another man, they won’t be challenged on the way they’re speaking, particularly about women.

The comments that Alex has been receiving from cis men in his life range from inappropriate assumptions about his relationships with his friends to suggestions to cheat on his partner in retaliation. 

Following a “small, minute argument” with his partner, Alex shares that men repeatedly urged him to turn to dating apps as a way to “get his mind off of” the tension by pursuing a one-night stand. 

He was told, “You just gotta go [hook up] with somebody.”

“No,” Alex says, frustrated. “That’s the love of my life.” 

Additionally, Alex voices disgust and exasperation with the poor bathroom habits of cisgender men, describing them as making disturbing amounts of noise in public restrooms. Of the experience, Alex says, “I want to leave and scream.” 

Commenters were appalled by the men’s remarks made about women. 

One user writes, “The way they talk about women is as if they’re a different species. It’s disturbing.” 

Another shares their own experience, claiming that since coming out, he has noticed men saying similar things to him.

“I don’t even pass, I’m just open about being trans and men sexualize women so much more around me,” he wrote.

Alex did not immediately respond to the Daily Dot’s request for comment via Instagram direct message. 

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