IRL

Can someone please tell this man that the vagina is not like a rotting piece of tuna?

This isn’t a sex education lesson, but a cautionary tale not to f**k rotting fish.

Photo of Samantha Grasso

Samantha Grasso

The internet is dogging on this guy who says the vagina stays stretched out each time someone has sex, which is scientifically false.

If there’s anyone who knows what bad sex education looks and sounds like, it’s me. Growing up in Texas, one of 11 states that don’t mandate sex education but does mandate stressing abstinence when it is taught, I remember: learning the anatomic basics of reproductive systems (because sex was strictly for reproduction); being told that the only way to 100 percent not get pregnant or contract sexually transmitted diseases was to not have sex; and that I needed to protect my reputation as a “moral” woman.

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In other words, the state wanted teens to know that you shouldn’t have sex out of wedlock and that you should feel shame if you decide to do otherwise. Which, you know, doesn’t stop teens from having sex—it just means they’re going to be poorly informed about the sex they are having, feel bad about having said sex, and be reluctant to bring up sexual health issues with people they should be able to trust.

Unfortunately, conservative governments aren’t the only entities peddling this misogynistic bullshit aimed at sex shaming women. Take this tasteful photo of four tuna, or possibly salmon, steaks circulating on Twitter. The grey (possibly rotting) filets lay side-by-side, sporting gaping holes arranged in order from smallest to largest, symbolizing vaginas “ruined” by numerous sexual partners.

https://twitter.com/renoomokri/status/963280461647659008

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Yes, someone deliberately fingered four fish steaks in an effort to show women what they too will experience if they have sex with up to four different partners.

“God made virgins for husbands not boyfriends,” author Reno Omokri writes in the post, blasting women who have pre-marital sex. “A Virgin is more likely to have a TIGHTER connection with her husband than a LOOSE woman who has had multiple sexual partners.”

It’s unclear which argument is more infuriating: the idea that a woman’s vagina is purely purposed for male satisfaction; the concept of virginity being an indicator of a woman’s worth to another person, let alone herself; or the completely wrong assertion that the vagina is some poor fish filet that permanently widens with each penis it encounters (never mind the existence of anyone other than cis, heterosexual women!).

Sure, Reno, you can try defending your outdated religious constructs of feminine virtue and a woman’s “responsibility” to remain “pure” and “chaste” for a man who she is supposed to marry. But asserting that the vagina loses its elasticity between sexual partners is just lazy peddling of a long-debunked sex myth, a willful ignorance of something so easily verifiable that it’s almost laughable.

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https://twitter.com/KayleesiTweets/status/963904872025387009

https://twitter.com/KayleesiTweets/status/963905588181831681

https://twitter.com/KayleesiTweets/status/963906098179735552

https://twitter.com/KayleesiTweets/status/963906508076568576

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For fact, the vagina doesn‘t turn into a cavernous, insatiable monster with each foreign object it encounters—the vagina is made of tightly-folded, elastic tissue that actually expands when someone is aroused and allows the vagina to contract back to its natural shape after sex, every time, no matter how many times someone has sex. A lot of sex will not “loosen” the vagina.

Again, dear Reno,

A lot of sex will not loosen the vagina.

It’s at least comforting to see that, across Twitter, people who know better have absolutely grilled Reno and his rotting fish-based vaginas for asserting such an obvious falsity.

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https://twitter.com/thatsokayrailli/status/964479695642226689

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And to be sure, there’s an element of curiosity that comes with reading Reno’s post about vaginas—how exactly did he widen the holes in those poor fish steaks to make his point?

https://twitter.com/gogreen18/status/964275638713528320

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https://twitter.com/IjeomaOluo/status/964334967466606592

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https://twitter.com/inihelene/status/963956810284707844

Honestly, though—how does this man think having sex as a married person works? Do you just have sex four times, and then you’re widened beyond repair?

https://twitter.com/LadyPJustice/status/964561906538352645

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https://twitter.com/penhoIder/status/964006477567578113

If there’s any lesson a clueless, sex education-deprived teen can learn from this man’s misguided post, it’s that you most definitely don’t want to ruin the magic of sex by sticking your penis into a dead fish, because the internet will definitely see through your slut-shaming facade and drag you for it. (As if the coconut lesson wasn’t enough of a cautionary tale.)

 
The Daily Dot