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‘Figure out your identity in your bedroom’: ‘Karen’ harasses cisgender woman in public bathroom after thinking she was trans

The woman allegedly thought the TikToker was trans because her hair was buzzed short.


Jack Alban


A TikToker by the name of Jay (@creatingjayrose) recorded herself being harassed by a woman who thought she was trans and using the ladies restroom. In the video, the woman demands to know Jay’s gender identity and becomes increasingly angry when the TikToker refuses to answer her questions. Jay speaks about the incident in several clips.

She writes in a text overlay in the first video, “I knew she was talking about me so I started recording.. Today a woman thought I was trans and harassed me for using the bathroom. I tried to mentally prepare myself before leaving the stall knowing she was going to approach me.”

In a smaller overlay the TikToker provides giving further context to what the woman was saying outside of the stall: “*her venting about trans people’s gender identities.”

@creatingjayrose Being harassed for using the bathroom and trying to tell me the police would get me for PEEING was definitely not on my list of things to do today #lgbt #nonbinary #trans #bathroom #karen #storytime #karensgonewild ♬ original sound – jay

The clip begins with the TikToker in a bathroom stall, the recording running before she exits it: “stay right there yeah figure out your identity in your bedroom,” the woman could be heard ranting about outside of the stall. “I am pissed right now,” she continues.

“School’s teaching that nonsense…” the woman rants on. Jay walks out of the stall and the woman’s voice grows louder, “It’s a boy, it’s a child,” she says as the TikToker approaches the sink and begins washing their hands. The woman approaches Jay and says, “Hi, how are you?” before demanding to know her gender identity. Jay calmly asks why does it matter, seemingly upsetting the woman.

“Well, because you’re in the ladies room,” the woman accuses. “And I have gotten called out several times for being in the men’s room. And you’re gonna be called out for whatever you’re doing. So what are you identifying as today?”

“I don’t think that’s any of your business,” Jay responds.

“OK it’s not. So, you’re in the ladies room where I think I need to identify you,” the woman says and continues interrogating her.

At this point in the conversation the woman then threatens to call the police on the TikToker, who welcomes her to do so.

“Let’s wait for the police to come,” Jay says.

“Yeah because this is not that way you play your shit. Go down on the strip and try to do it there. Don’t do it up here. This is a suburb. Not allowed. Not allowed,” the ‘Karen’ continues. “Yeah, you think you’re gonna be a woman when it’s OK and be a man OK, no, no figure out your identity in your bedroom, and then project it on everybody else and we’ll accept it. This is not acceptable.”

“Let’s go get security,” the TikToker responds.

Jay then speaks to someone off-camera after exiting the restroom with the woman following behind her, “Um, she’s harassing me for being in the bathroom.”

“What’s going on?” the person, presumably a security guard, asks.

“Well, I’m asking her what her identity is-” the woman says, then a man chimes in.

“That’s my girlfriend,” the man tells the woman before the video cuts out. In a comment, Jay clarified that the woman didn’t even need to use the bathroom — she followed Jay in there for the purpose of harassing her.

In a follow-up video, Jay went into further detail about the incident with the woman in the bathroom.

@creatingjayrose Replying to @all_capslock hi guys!!! here’s a part 1 😭 thank you so much for all the love/support in the comments 💕 #storytime #update #bathroom #lgbt ♬ original sound – jay

She says that she was experiencing painful cramps and had to really use the bathroom when she was out with her boyfriend while they were getting work done on their car. They stopped at a local casino on their way from the car shop so they could both use the restroom. Jays says that because she typically spends a long time in the bathroom, she gave her boyfriend $20 to gamble and it was at that time she heard the woman outside of the stall going on a tirade against transgender individuals.

The TikToker says that she never had an issue going to the bathroom ever since she decided to cut her hair short, but still said that she knew the woman was talking about her. She continues that while she wasn’t communicating with her boyfriend while this was happening she later learned that he had a feeling something was amiss so he waited outside of the bathroom for Jay and tried calling and texting her.

“He thinks I’m on the floor cramped out on the floor dying passed out, who knows, so he’s not getting any responses from me, so he’s already in panic mode,” the TikToker explains.

She adds that no one else in the bathroom was attempting to intercede on her behalf or help her out, which she didn’t have a problem with. What she did have a problem with, however, was the fact that the woman thought she was speaking to a “trans child,” and Jay couldn’t understand why anyone wouldn’t want to pipe up in that scenario, as if this was the case, it would be a situation where an adult was bullying a minor.

Other TikTokers wanted to know what response security had to the situation, and Jay expanded upon that in a third video, adding that guards were waiting outside of the bathroom because the woman and her husband had requested they be there.

@creatingjayrose Replying to @jaymirausch part 2 & update 💕 sorry i couldn’t fit it in one video for you guys 😭 #storytime #update #lgbt ♬ original sound – jay

Jay says that her boyfriend became really upset after seeing the woman harassing his girlfriend and security separated him from the woman, adding that the woman’s husband was telling his wife (the irate bathroom-goer in question) to leave the situation alone.

The TikToker requested to file a complaint against the woman, which she did, causing her to be “kicked off the property for the day.”

The Daily Dot reached out to Jay for further comment, who said via email that she has “not heard from the casino as of yet.”

She added, “After the incident, security did come to me to let me know an investigation is pending and she was kicked off the property for the day but that was it” and that she “was not offered any type of apology from the woman, after [they] were separated [she] did not see her again.”

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