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Men’s magazines: Here’s how to alienate your entire readership
Men’s Health time-travels to 1922 to teach men how to talk to women about sports.
Are you a publisher interested in alienating an entire demographic of readers? Then look no further than venerable male-fitness print stallion Men’s Health, which tweeted this gem this evening.
— Men’s Health Mag (@MensHealthMag) October 6, 2014
Now, I like sports. I like sports a lot. I have gotten in nearly relationship-ruining arguments because of how much I love my Oregon Ducks (yeah yeah yeah, the Pac 12 is a mess, I know, but Arizona was undefeated to begin with and we’re operating with an O-line younger than the rage-induced white streak of hair this article just gave me), and I may or may not have paid permanent bodily homage to the Portland Trail Blazers.
So no one had better dare try and dummy-speak to me about sports. That said, it doesn’t matter even a little bit that some women don’t like sports. This is offensive on a few other levels.
— Hilary Sargent (@lilsarg) October 7, 2014
The article (article?) itself is 100 words of non-advice. We get one throw-away quote about how women generally identify with personal stories more than stats. Girls are bad at numbers, right?
It argues that telling us weepy or heartwarming personal stories about athletes will win us over. Hell, maybe some broad who hates football will hear about a coach’s fundraising efforts for a charity and suddenly that whole “line of scrimmage” thing will make sense!
Naturally, Twitter is pulling no punches at Men’s Health‘s expense. (Damn it, I just used a sports idiom! Someone tell me how good of a dad LeBron James is so I don’t skip my period this month.)
The problem I have talking to women about sports is they’re like “earned run average rushing yards” and I don’t know anything about sports
— Rusty Foster (@rustyk5) October 7, 2014
— darth™ (@darth) October 7, 2014
— andréa lopez (@bluechoochoo) October 7, 2014
— Dianna McDougall (@DiannaMcD) October 7, 2014
HOW TO TALK TO WOMEN ABOUT SPORTS: – do not show fear – bang pots and pans together – run in zig zags – spray snout with bear mace
— Eli Terry (@EliTerry) October 7, 2014
the article literally starts with “not all women”
— Lindsey Adler (@Lahlahlindsey) October 6, 2014
hi @MensHealthMag, you don’t know me, but i run @ESPNMag’s annual analytics issue. also, i have a vagina!
— Megan Greenwell (@megreenwell) October 6, 2014
BroBible was first to weigh in:
The only way the article could have come back from this headline and summary?
“With words that, put in the correct order, are articulate and make sense.”
But if you’re still clueless about how to talk to women about sports, try this:
how to talk to women: don’t
— AmBOO (@missambear) October 7, 2014
Photo via chase_eliott/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)
Molly McHugh is the tech editor of the Daily Dot, focusing on technology, social media, sports, and streaming entertainment. Her work has also appeared in Wired and the Ringer.