Men’s magazines: Here’s how to alienate your entire readership

Men's Health time-travels to 1922 to teach men how to talk to women about sports.

 

Molly McHugh

IRL

Published Oct 6, 2014   Updated May 30, 2021, 11:17 am CDT

Are you a publisher interested in alienating an entire demographic of readers? Then look no further than venerable male-fitness print stallion Men’s Health, which tweeted this gem this evening. 

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She sees the game differently than you. Here’s how, and what to do about it: http://t.co/AaQXS1bsWY pic.twitter.com/fh83bb6Zc4

— Men’s Health Mag (@MensHealthMag) October 6, 2014

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Now, I like sports. I like sports a lot. I have gotten in nearly relationship-ruining arguments because of how much I love my Oregon Ducks (yeah yeah yeah, the Pac 12 is a mess, I know, but Arizona was undefeated to begin with and we’re operating with an O-line younger than the rage-induced white streak of hair this article just gave me), and I may or may not have paid permanent bodily homage to the Portland Trail Blazers. 

So no one had better dare try and dummy-speak to me about sports. That said, it doesn’t matter even a little bit that some women don’t like sports. This is offensive on a few other levels. 

A huge number of disturbing things about this. Number one is that it was written by a woman. http://t.co/ijASUCvGIH pic.twitter.com/srrmNKKP3R

— Hilary Sargent (@lilsarg) October 7, 2014

The article (article?) itself is 100 words of non-advice. We get one throw-away quote about how women generally identify with personal stories more than stats. Girls are bad at numbers, right?

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It argues that telling us weepy or heartwarming personal stories about athletes will win us over. Hell, maybe some broad who hates football will hear about a coach’s fundraising efforts for a charity and suddenly that whole “line of scrimmage” thing will make sense! 

Naturally, Twitter is pulling no punches at Men’s Health‘s expense. (Damn it, I just used a sports idiom! Someone tell me how good of a dad LeBron James is so I don’t skip my period this month.)

The problem I have talking to women about sports is they’re like “earned run average rushing yards” and I don’t know anything about sports

— Rusty Foster (@rustyk5) October 7, 2014

only 15 cents an issue tho pup RT @nycsouthpaw: Charming. https://t.co/Q6KjwwzZT9 pic.twitter.com/ctC1fTU9Wg

— darth™ (@darth) October 7, 2014

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how ball kick far? is good ball? RT @MensHealthMag: She sees the game differently than you. pic.twitter.com/QReUNV2PjT

— andréa lopez (@bluechoochoo) October 7, 2014

Left that @MensHealthMag tab open and laughed at their garbage ads oh wait those aren’t ads, that’s their content pic.twitter.com/MMVM1f8iI7

— Dianna McDougall (@DiannaMcD) October 7, 2014

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HOW TO TALK TO WOMEN ABOUT SPORTS: – do not show fear – bang pots and pans together – run in zig zags – spray snout with bear mace

— Eli Terry (@EliTerry) October 7, 2014

the article literally starts with “not all women”

— Lindsey Adler (@Lahlahlindsey) October 6, 2014

hi @MensHealthMag, you don’t know me, but i run @ESPNMag’s annual analytics issue. also, i have a vagina!

— Megan Greenwell (@megreenwell) October 6, 2014

BroBible was first to weigh in:

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The only way the article could have come back from this headline and summary?

 

“With words that, put in the correct order, are articulate and make sense.”

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But if you’re still clueless about how to talk to women about sports, try this:

how to talk to women: don’t

— AmBOO (@missambear) October 7, 2014

Photo via chase_eliott/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

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*First Published: Oct 6, 2014, 9:45 pm CDT