Aydian Dowling HER takeover

Photo via hersocialapp/Instagram

Trans man’s ‘takeover’ shows few knew this dating app wasn’t just for lesbians

A new promotion has caused some controvery—and maybe some clarification—about the app Her.


Ana Valens


Posted on Nov 17, 2017   Updated on May 22, 2021, 10:49 am CDT

What’s the best way to celebrate Transgender Awareness Week on one of the most popular lesbian dating apps around? By putting a transgender man front and center, of course.

Earlier this week, Her announced Aydian Dowling—a transgender man, activist, and creator of the transgender apparel line Point 5cc Clothing—would be doing an Instagram “takeover” on Thursday.

Activists quickly criticized the move, saying Dowling’s appearance is somewhat insulting considering that Her advertises itself as “the most popular lesbian app” as well as “the biggest (and best!) app for lesbian, bisexual, and queer people worldwide” on places like the iOS App Store. To many in the trans community, Her’s focus on a transgender man over a transgender woman or femme shows that the app doesn’t understand its audience or trans people in general.


Some saw the move as Her implying that trans men are more like cis women than cis men—i.e., that a trans man is not a man; he is “femmy” and therefore can be grouped in with women and lesbians.



Because it’s not that hard to find a trans woman.

But part of the “controversy” seems to be over miscommunication in branding. Apparently, Her isn’t just for women anymore. The app’s founder, Robyn Exton, told the Daily Dot that Her has since moved on to embrace people across gender identities and sexualities beyond bi and lesbian women.

“For over a year, Her has been a platform for LGBTQ+ women, trans, non-binary, gender nonconforming, and queer folk,” Exton explained to the Daily Dot. “The name Her reflects where the company started and our commitment to make a safe and inclusive space for women, but we opened up to a much larger range of identities from the community a year and a half ago, to what we think is reflective of our community and supporting the identities that are part of it.”

Exton says Her was always inclusive to marginalized genders and has been trying to reflect that.

“We’ve had nonbinary people and gender nonconforming people in our community since day one and opened to trans men 18 months ago,” she said. “We fully acknowledge our Facebook page is titled ‘Her—The App for LGBTQ Women’ and apologize for the confusion this has caused. This is something we have asked Facebook to change multiple times to accurately reflect our business and we continue to be rejected for.”

Exton also explained that Her has transgender women Melody Maia and Eli Erlick setup for similar takeovers during the coming days ahead, along with Mason Leigh. So it’s not like Her isn’t calling on trans women to promote the app.

However, the controversy shows that brands still need to be sensitive and clear in their marketing, lest they lose their original base. For some trans women, the “takeover” was a reminder that inclusion can be hard to come by—even in the queer community.

H/T Leylâ Çolpan

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*First Published: Nov 17, 2017, 10:02 am CST