Kermit the Frog may or may not be in a new relationship, but he is definitely a dick.
The famous Muppet and his longtime love, Miss Piggy, officially announced their conscious uncoupling in early August. But on Tuesday, not a month after the split, sultry photos of Kermit and a new woman—or pig, rather—have surfaced.
People reported “Kermit, who is still working with Miss Piggy on her late-night talk show Up Late with Miss Piggy…has been spotted around town numerous times with a head of marketing at ABC named Denise.”
For Kermit’s part, he has denied that Denise is anyone special.
Sheesh. I can't believe I already have to do this again… Here is the official statement on my relationship status: pic.twitter.com/gRCyl3xbfz
— Kermit the Frog (@KermitTheFrog) September 1, 2015
Allow us to decipher this: Kermit is very much with Denise, but not prepared to nut up and DTR (define the relationship) publicly. He’s also afraid of how Miss Piggy will react to the news of him dating a marketing executive at ABC, the network putting on their new show, despite the fact that she’s been seen on the arm of Hollywood hunks Topher Grace and Liam Hemsworth.
But somehow, despite the clear evidence that the mopey, underweight frog is the problem, many took aim at Denise and blamed her for bringing down Kermit and Piggy’s four-decade romance.
“Do you see this pig?” Jezebel asked. “The one photographed above, biting her pen like it’s a throbbing, 1-2 inch long piece of felt? This, my friends, is Denise, and it’s recently come to my attention that she’s the homewrecking hog America’s beloved Kermit the Frog left America’s more beloved Miss Piggy for. And I would like to know the fuck she thinks she is.”
Others agree with the assessment that Denise, a high-powered and beautiful pig, is responsible for Kermit and Piggy’s demise.
You are a homewrecker.
— Natasha B. (@NatashaSays) September 2, 2015
— Philys (@philysOg) September 2, 2015
This frog denise bitch, clearly a skanky homewrecker.
— tab (@TabDeGeneres) September 2, 2015
Denise is a home wrecker and we all know it.
— Eliel Cruz (@elielcruz) September 1, 2015
Sure, the image of Denise biting her pen and giving Kermit a come-hither stare is forward, but this is a pig who knows what she wants. When this moment transpired, Kermit and Piggy were already broken up, ergo, there was no home to wreck. “Homewrecker” is a loaded term which, more times than not, places the blame on the woman. Are we seriously blaming Denise for pursuing a single man?
The Tampa Bay Times points out, “Well, it’s been one whole month and Kermit already has a Kardashian-looking jezebel at his side. His new girlfriend is named “Denise.” And we’re all, like, GIANT EYE ROLL.”
— Ben Simmoneau (@bensimmoneau) September 2, 2015
This is all misplaced anger at Kermit for moving on so quickly from his longtime love. Denise should not be shamed for her beauty and confidence. Kermit should be so lucky to be associated with a faux-Kardashian.
And others are placing the blame on Piggy, trying to pit the two powerful and successful female pigs against one another by saying that she drove Kermit into Denise’s arms.
to be honest, i always felt Miss Piggy was a touch high maintenance.http://t.co/cbrkU2kDNM
— Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) September 1, 2015
Kermit has a new GF? Bout time, that Miss Piggy was a high maintenance pig! #Muppets
— Y2Jacer 🎮🤓 (@Y2Jacer) September 2, 2015
While we can all agree that this is a transparent marketing ploy for The Muppets, the Jen-and-Angelina redux rhetoric used to describe the women in this situation is disheartening.
The Guardian gets it:
“It’s now clear that he [Kermit] was also always colluding with the producers and directors to make sure that Miss Piggy looked like a violent, egotistical harridan and he was seen as the sensitive, Rainbow-Connection-bleating ex-hippie who gracefully put up with both her personality and living in her shadow. Woe is him, we all said – and that’s exactly what he wanted us to say.”
It’s time Kermit rib-bit the dust.
Screengrab via ABC/YouTube