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Prominent 1980s game show host turned right-wing podcaster Chuck Woolery wants to wear a penis hat on his head because equality, or something like that.
In a tweet promoting his latest podcast, which the synopsis says features Woolery and his co-host breaking down American sexism myths like male privilege (goody!), Woolery tweeted, “women get vagina hats, but if men wore penis hats, they’d attack us and be outraged.”
First off, sir, they’re called pussy hats, not vagina hats, but we appreciate the anatomical accuracy. And secondly, why do you get the idea that women would attack you if you wore a hat of a penis atop that conservative cranium of yours? If anything, women would have a good laugh at your dick cap’s expense.
If you aren’t aware, Woolery, women aren’t just wearing pussy hats willy nilly—we wear them to protest sexual assault. To protest getting grabbed by the pussy. Like during the Women’s March on Washington. Get it? Vagina? Pussy? Cats? Cat ears? Pink-knitted hats with cat ears?
Twitter proceeded to troll Woolery’s “vagina hat” comment, with onlookers curious of Woolery’s understanding of the hat’s play on words (and vaginas in general), as well as his burgeoning interest in wearing a penis on his head.
They even have prototypes!
Oh wait, penis hats already exist? You don’t say!?
But mostly, Twitter is just really, really excited for Woolery to brandish his phallic cap.
idk chuck, I think you should wear a big penis hat to test this hypothesis. https://t.co/R66rmFQ05Z
— Another Angry Woman (@stavvers) February 24, 2017
no you should definitely wear a penis hat, it would make me respect you more https://t.co/yHJ1TRm0Rz
— Emma Roller (@emmaroller) February 24, 2017
Or… was Woolery wearing the penis hat this WHOLE TIME?!
I’d argue you’ve been wearing a penis hat for some time. https://t.co/PuTIw4bu9v
— DaveAnthony (@daveanthony) February 24, 2017
Spoooky, huh? It’s really a mystery—all these pussy hats and Woolery still manages to act like a dickhead.
Samantha Grasso is a former IRL staff writer for the Daily Dot with a reporting emphasis on immigration. Her work has appeared on Los Angeles Magazine, Death And Taxes, Revelist, Texts From Last Night, Austin Monthly, and she has previously contributed to Texas Monthly.