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Baby “gender reveals” are a thing now, and expectant parents are finding all sorts of ways to reveal their infant’s genitalia to the world before the little bugger leaves the womb. A few short years ago, this might have been done with a cake that was either pink or blue on the inside, or, hell, an “It’s a girl” email. But those sorts of things can’t go viral now, can they?
Here are some of the most ridiculous gender reveal options we’ve found. Happy Mother’s Day!
You thought boy v. girl was the only dichotomy in question? Think again. There are all sorts of preferences to pose about yet-to-be-born babies. Lures or lace? Guns or glitter? Cupcake or stud muffin? Because, yes, let’s all think about your newborn son having sex.
2) Making your other children cry
Who cares if it’s a girl or a boy? The older kid is just going to be upset about having to share things now.
Expectant dads sure do like announcing their babies with guns and explosions.
Because nothing is more fun than cleaning up glitter.
5) Actual baby cakes
Or cutting into a baby from the uncanny valley to celebrate his upcoming birth.
Anyway, gender is a construct. Your son might like tutus!
Jaya Saxena is a lifestyle writer and editor whose work focuses primarily on women's issues and web culture. Her writing has appeared in GQ, ELLE, the Toast, the New Yorker, Tthe Hairpin, BuzzFeed, Racked, Eater, Catapult, and others. She is the co-author of 'Dad Magazine,' the author of 'The Book Of Lost Recipes,' and the co-author of 'Basic Witches.'