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America is united in hating Ken Starr’s impeachment hat

'Up until now Ken Starr's black hat has always been metaphorical.'


Claire Goforth


Posted on Jan 27, 2020   Updated on May 19, 2021, 4:52 pm CDT

Ken Starr has just proven that even amidst the formality of a Senate impeachment trial, with determination, you can express your true self. And what better way than with a hat, the ultimate extension of one’s personality?

Today, the man serving alongside Alan Dershowitz as President Donald Trump’s impeachment co-counsel dug deep in his closet for the perfect accessory to reflect his Ken Starr essence.

He selected a black cowboy hat. This he wore on his head on purpose on his way to defend the president of the United States.

Does that hat look ridiculous? Perhaps.

Does it seem incongruous with the seriousness of an impeachment trial? Yes, verily.

Should he have paired it with something other than the tan trench coat wardrobe staple of TV detectives and flashers, such as a fringe jacket? Certainly.

But this hat could also be Starr’s clever way of communicating his belief that the impeachment is ridiculous, and that he’s utterly unworried about the outcome, even feeling a bit whimsical.

No matter what Ken Starr’s hopefully sound reasons for wearing the hat favored by Western movie villains may have been, all across Twitter sounds of laughter rang out.

“McGruff the crime dog looks like hell,” @Woman_on_Pause noted.

“Get this guy a cape and he could be Frank Costanza’s lawyer,” said @SkeletonMarv.

“Ken Starr looks like a giant moray eel wearing a cowboy hat,” observed @EnemyofBoth.

“I hope he found Carmen Sandiego, at least,” @nuclearcarly chimed in.

Although many seemed surprised by Starr’s show-stopping head-topper, this isn’t his first time. In 2012, before Baylor University fired him for allegedly mishandling rape cases, the Waco Tribune-Herald gave him a “rodeo makeover.” (Yes, there are photos. No, you will never unsee them.)

Impeachment proceedings continue this afternoon.


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*First Published: Jan 27, 2020, 3:01 pm CST