- People are roasting this ‘traditional’ take on marriage with a hilarious meme Saturday 5:17 PM
- The internet just collectively realized that the Neopets of the world must be hungry Saturday 4:00 PM
- Alt-right message board 8chan was served a search warrant Saturday 3:06 PM
- O.J. Simpson just joined Twitter in the most bizarre fashion Saturday 1:20 PM
- Prominent phone-hacking firm says it can unlock any iPhone for law enforcement Saturday 12:39 PM
- Hundreds of police officers belong to extremist Facebook groups, investigation finds Saturday 9:31 AM
- How to watch Tyson Fury vs. Tom Schwarz online Saturday 8:00 AM
- ‘Late Night’ is a disappointing, tepid comedy Saturday 7:00 AM
- How to stream ‘Love It or List It’ for free Saturday 7:00 AM
- How to watch the 2019 Concacaf Gold Cup online for free Saturday 6:55 AM
- Borderlands 3 preview suggests the aging series can still hang with the cool kids Saturday 6:30 AM
- How to stream the 2019 College World Series for free Saturday 6:00 AM
- Police try to solve domestic violence by giving victims blunt kitchen knives Friday 5:40 PM
- Privacy activist Ola Bini detained for 2 months in Ecuador without charges Friday 5:01 PM
- Twitter says suspending ‘God’ for a pro-LGBTQ tweet was an ‘error’ Friday 4:14 PM
1. ilu: I’m in a hurry, and I might not even mean it, but there it is. You brought this on yourself.
2. <3: I just discovered emoticons.
3. : I just discovered emoji.
4. oh you: I’m completely in love with you but will never admit it unless you say it first.
5. luv u: I’m in middle school. My screenname is QTpiegrly996.
6. Lerve you: I’m on Reddit a lot.
7. Lurve you: I’m still on Reddit a lot.
8. RT/fave (insert anything you tweet here): I’m passive aggressively showing you I agree with any crazy piece of nonsense you say, and therefore I obviously love you.
9. loves you: I enjoy brunch, IKEA, and girls/guys nights out.
10. loves ya: See the above, plus I frequently use finger guns and/or air kisses. (And I probably love nothing other than myself.)
11. kisses!: I have a very small dog and it is the only thing I truly love.
12. love you bitch: We are secretly competative best friends.
13. heart you/<3 you: You said you love me, and I might love you, but I don’t really know, so using this Internet phrase or emoticon pairing let’s me buy a little time while I make up my mind.
14. Love you: We are in a relationship, and I’m probably going to see you in the near future; this is my standard chat/text sign off when we speak.
15. LOVE YOU: We are in a relationship, and I may or may not see you soon. The emphasis via caps means I’m reinforcing this because we’re either in a long distance relationship or fighting. I cannot contain my love at the moment.
16. LOVE YOU!: I really love you, to the point that you’re feeling suffocated. I post this publicly as often as possible.
17. I love you: We are legit in love, unless this is the first time I’ve made this avowal. Then its Internet origins void it.
18. looooooooooooooooove yooooooooooooooou: You are the first person I’ve ever said “I love you” to, and I say it frequently. We’re probably going to break up soon, especially because this is how I say it in real life too.
19. XoXo: I’m your mom and I haven’t figure out Facebook Chat yet; I write really long, email-length messages with sign-offs like this.
20. luv u 2: Either I’m in middle school and replying to you or I really love U2.
Photo via GypsyGen