Now, this is true mother’s love: taking on Anonymous single-handedly.

Of course, it’s always good to have Mom on your side, especially if she’s smart and witty and you’re going up against the FBI. You could ask Julian Assange about that. And now you also can also ask Jeremy Hammond.

Jeremy Hammond, aka anarchaos (and also known as: sub G, sup_g, burn, POW, yohoho, credible threat, and tylerknowsthis) is the 28-year-old Chicago hacker and member of AntiSec who was recently arrested in conjunction with the FBI raids earlier this month. Police arrested five Americans in a sweep of AntiSec’s Stratfor hackers.

The hackers released over five million largely unflattering emails from the private intelligence company Stratfor to Wikileaks, which then published them to the world as the Global Intelligence Files. Hammond is facing the potential of decades in prison on hacking, conspiracy, and fraud charges.

Rose Collins, his long-suffering mother, on Friday, took on Anonymous single-handedly to protect and avenge her son.

When told by the Chicago Tribune that Hammond had been arrested, Collins replied “Again? I love my son, but he is a genius with no brain.”

In the time-honored manner of concerned mothers everywhere, once her boy was in trouble, Collins went after the friends who had so clearly led him astray. In this case, that put her squarely up against both AntiSec and Anonymous, the hacker collective that may be beloved for rickrolling Scientology and facilitating Arab Spring, but is also feared for its anarchistic, lawless nature and its habit of attacking anyone who crosses it.

So what did this Texan single mom do? What any mother would do. She wrote them a sternly-worded note, full of insider details and a fair amount of wit.  

The letter was originally released on the Townhall Finance website, which interviewed Collins and published and edited the letter. We also edited it for brevity.

It reads:

Hi. Lulz to you. I’m Jeremy’s mom and I have a few questions. Answer them or not, but at least think about it.

1. If you are legion, do you have attorneys among you? If so, please send one to help Jeremy. I certainly don’t blame you for his behavior. He is (theoretically) an adult and knows what he is doing.

2. If you do not forget or forgive, are you in agreement with Jeremy regarding imprisonment of those convicted of crimes? He is against it. If you do feel the way he does, what will you do if/when you meet up with Sabu? If you would rip him to shreds as I have considered doing myself with my long, sharpened, poisonous, badly manicured fingernails, doesn’t that smack of the same injustices you have railed about for instance, in San Antonio? How would you be able to wear a mask superior to that of the government you detest?

3. Speaking of Sabu and our government, have you considered the possibility that Sabu himself was a victim? Here’s a theory: The feds found a way to become stowaways on the Luhlzboat and got the dirt on LuhlzSec without his knowledge.

Look, I’m a nobody and my mask is smaller than yours, as is my power. Like you, I don’t trust the government as far as I can spit a rat. Some of your shenanigans I approve of, such as the Westboro Baptist church, who gives all Christians a bad name, and the KKK morons who make all white people look like racists. But who decides what is good and bad? Who are you to decide that all government secrets must be exposed? Let the wrong information out and we may all have to learn Mandarin soon.

My final question/point is this: I watched a video on YouTube saying that those who caused our economy to shatter for their own enrichment must pay. I totally agree! The question is, who are they? I believe (could be wrong) that you and the OWS crowd think it was the Wall Street Fat Cats. I personally believe that while their hands are not clean, they did not cause the housing crisis which was the first domino to fall. FYI it is no longer a race issue. My brother, who is of the peachy persuasion, also lost his house during the first year or so of the fallout. Could it be that Anonymous is also susceptible to propaganda?

Please don’t come at me bro-nonymous. I’m just trying to understand. More importantly, help my son!

Other than the plea for a lawyer, it’s unclear what kind of assistance she’s looking for. Up against the FBI, Hammond needs all the help he can get.

Is she calling on Anonymous to hack the prison system? To trust Sabu again? To lay off Wall Street? We’re not exactly sure, but it’s hard not to root for a mom, especially a fearless one.

Photo by faser6 the gentleman ghost