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Noah the time traveler has been awfully prolific on YouTube lately. Now, after giving his predictions on what a map of the U.S. in 2030 looks like and how the Philippines will form a mega-country next decade, he’s returned to the ApexTV channel to give specific dates on when major future events will occur.
Want to know when a massive snowstorm will wipe out multiple Midwest cities in the U.S.? Or when extraterrestrial life will be proven true? Or when people will begin to receive implanted chips to expand their natural brain functions?
Noah is here to tell you when you can expect everything to happen. The supposed time traveler from the year 2030 accomplishes that by showing the audience library pages he said are from the future that mark the dates of certain events that happened in the past (well, the past as it relates to the future).
He’s got a couple of crumpled-up pieces of paper—he says they’re in that state of disrepair because he’s had to quickly stash them away before so he wouldn’t be caught with them—and he begins to give his predictions (the next war will be with North Korea, humans will begin to be plugged into computers much like the Matrix movies that will allow humans to eventually become immortal, and common core education will be discarded and replaced with something much more effective).
According to Noah, the world will see a “giant” spike in UFO sightings next month. In February, the largest snowstorm in history will devastate the Midwest. In June 2019, an implanted chip will begin to allow disabled people to walk again. Plus, he’s got other predictions, like who will be elected president in 2020 and in 2028.
Why should you listen to Noah? He said it’s because he’s been right before. He told the Daily Dot recently that he predicted the death of Stephen Hawking before it happened, and he’s already predicted that a granddaughter of Martin Luther King will eventually become president of the U.S.
As he usually claims—the same as most of the YouTube time travelers who appear on ApexTV—Noah said he’s being hunted by the government so he’ll stop revealing its secrets.
“If I stop appearing in the future, if I ever disappear all of a sudden, trust me, it’s something bad,” he said. “I’ve set off so many alarms that I feel like my time to be caught by the government is pretty soon. They will find me and eventually take me somewhere. I don’t know where.”
Jeez, that seems like a future event Noah would really want to know about.
Josh Katzowitz is a staff writer at the Daily Dot specializing in YouTube and boxing. His work has appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, and Los Angeles Times. A longtime sports writer, he's covered the NFL for CBSSports.com and boxing for Forbes. His work has been noted twice in the Best American Sports Writing book series.