A short history of the subtweet war between Ashton Kutcher and Charlie Sheen

This thing has better plot twists than Two and a Half Men.


Molly McHugh


Published Feb 9, 2014   Updated May 31, 2021, 6:50 pm CDT

Some two years ago, Charlie Sheen took us on a wild ride. In the weeks leading up to Sheen being fired from Two and a Half Men, the seemingly unhinged actor went on many a no-holds-barred rant, and we were introduced to his world of prostitutes, tiger blood, anti-semitism, and “winning.”

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He was replaced on Men by none other than Ashton Kutcher (who received a mind-boggling amount of money for taking on the role). At the time, Sheen and Kutcher traded niceities about the switch-up, and the world kept spinning: Sheen kept up his antics, and the show your parents watch if Everybody Loves Raymond isn’t on that night continued.

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But now, years since the brouhaha, the two actors are engaged in the most passive aggressive of passive aggressive battles: a subtweet war.

While Kutcher has only recently entered the fray, Sheen’s been stirring the pot since the beginning of January (and likely dropped the odd Kutcher slam before, but this is when things really picked up steam).

hey Jon!!! u r a GENIUS!!! I effin love and MISS YOU old pal! Q; who’s your lame side-kik? c #NiceTryCanonBoy #CH http://t.co/xGBjAjcKWr

— Charlie Sheen (@charliesheen) January 5, 2014

hey Ashton sorry bro all good. now quit barfing on my old brilliant show. Remember Punk’d? how duz it feel? c harp http://t.co/vSVQ3BBk7D

— Charlie Sheen (@charliesheen) January 6, 2014

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Ashton finally responded to all this when he was on Jimmy Kimmel on Wednesday. Fast forward to the 3:46 mark where Kutcher says: 

Can I just enter a public plea with Charlie? Dude, shut the fuck up already! It’s like three years later and you’re still blowing me up on Twitter?

And then the Sheen retaliation rained swiftly down upon us.

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Ashton message received. so sorry u sounded like me! well done! my bad I was pissed at other crap & took it out on you. hope u r good xox c

— Charlie Sheen (@charliesheen) February 6, 2014

The tweet was, however, follow by this one…

but news flash Dood, you ever tell me to shut the F*** up, EVER again, and I’ll put you on a hospital food diet for a year. c #YaFeelMe Jr?

— Charlie Sheen (@charliesheen) February 6, 2014

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Kutcher succintly responded, repeating his former sentiment.

See you all tonight cbs …. #stfu pic.twitter.com/9QGYfrV3Op

— ashton kutcher (@aplusk) February 7, 2014

Message received, though not well, apparently. Sheen tweeted this the next day.

hey Jr. who needs to Shut the F*** up NOW? Nice try “Blunder-Study” I’m the King u r a jester, at best-er c #Mashton http://t.co/3Ay7svLfzn

— Charlie Sheen (@charliesheen) February 7, 2014

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But then this happy birthday note seems intended to mend any hurt feelings…

wow! AK! my bad; it’s your birthday! happy 36 Boo-Churr! :-) c #JusPlayinBro #WeBothWin http://t.co/xJMCxRMpkT

— Charlie Sheen (@charliesheen) February 7, 2014

Weirdly, the Twitter antagonism might all go back to this tweet of Kutcher’s from Jan. 14:

This is a first… pic.twitter.com/sMlqRZS1tP

— ashton kutcher (@aplusk) January 14, 2014

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The next day, Sheen tweeted this:

sometimes you just gotta share the laughter!!! c #PackBack http://t.co/WB9qrNsYkP

— Charlie Sheen (@charliesheen) January 15, 2014

Was he trolling Kutcher? Mocking him? Or did he, too, just enjoy that adorable photo? All that’s clear is that since then, he’s been subtweeting Kutcher like it’s his job. Which, truth be told, might actually be his next gig if Anger Management’s ratings keep falling.

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But maybe, just maybe, the subtweeting war could be ended if they just remembered their mutual love of dog as backpacks. 

H/T the Daily Mail | Photo via timmarshall/Flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0)

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*First Published: Feb 9, 2014, 9:03 pm CST