This photo of Kim Kardashian’s oiled-up butt did not break the Internet

…but it did put a crack in it.

 

EJ Dickson

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Published Nov 12, 2014   Updated May 30, 2021, 5:39 am CDT

This story contains sexually explicit material and may be NSFW.

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The Internet isn’t broken, but it does have a crack in it.

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Having some difficulty with your Wi-Fi connection today? Don’t panic and call your local cable provider just yet. This photo of Kim Kardashian balancing a champagne glass on her ass is to blame.

 

#BreakTheInternet

A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

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The above images are from Kim K.’s Paper magazine cover shoot with the legendary photographer Jean-Paul Goude, and they were apparently intended to “break the Internet,” if Paper’s headline and this tweet from Kim K. herself are any indication:

#BreakTheInternet http://t.co/ZTlY3X1HJH

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) November 12, 2014

And they say I didn’t have a talent…try balancing a champagne glass on your ass LOL #BreakTheInternet #PaperMagazine

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) November 12, 2014

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She has a point there. Could that hashtag ratchet Willow Pape ever accomplish such impressive callipygian feats? Hashtag never.

It’s unclear how, exactly, Kim thought a photo of her naked rear end would “break the Internet,” Minaj-style, considering we’ve all seen it many times, here, here, and (of course) here. Maybe she thinks the combined traffic from everyone looking at her photo will cause everyone’s Wi-Fi connection to momentarily slow down. Maybe she’s planning on going to your house and smashing your modem/router in with a ballpeen hammer. Maybe she has a little hacker living inside her sphincter. I mean, who the hell knows. The point is, if by “break the Internet” she actually meant “inspire the Internet to Photoshop her head on the body of a centaur,” then Kim K.W. was largely successful.

Kim Kardashian looks so much like a centaur in Paper Magazine, I figured I’d take it one step further. pic.twitter.com/Sh70yV43gE

— Kelkulus (@kelkulus) November 12, 2014

And it looks like the trend is catching on.

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Can you believe more than 2 ass can fit on the same screen? Guess which one’s real. Your move, instagram.

A photo posted by Chelsea Handler (@chelseahandler) on

 

H/T Marie Claire | Photo via Kim Kardashian/Instagram

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*First Published: Nov 12, 2014, 1:00 pm CST