- We now probably know the final runtime for ‘Avengers: Endgame’ Monday 11:06 PM
- Cardi B says she drugged, robbed men in her past on Instagram Live Monday 8:03 PM
- Twitter thread roasts bathtub tray ads for women Monday 7:21 PM
- Nintendo set to release two new models of the Switch—possibly in 2019 Monday 6:45 PM
- Viral cat video ‘Dear Kitten’ finds new life in TikTok challenge Monday 5:30 PM
- Here’s every show that was announced at the Apple TV+ kickoff Monday 3:53 PM
- ‘Shazam!’ embraces the spectacle and heart of the superhero genre Monday 3:45 PM
- How to mute Twitter’s suggested tweets on your timeline Monday 3:02 PM
- What you need to know about Apple’s new streaming service Monday 2:32 PM
- Text-message fanfiction is taking over Instagram Monday 1:54 PM
- Your Asus computer might have a secret backdoor Monday 1:06 PM
- Trump is already fundraising off the Mueller report—even though no one’s seen it Monday 1:01 PM
- Michael Avenatti charged with trying to extort $20 million from Nike Monday 12:51 PM
- Logan Paul says being a YouTuber is ‘wack’ Monday 12:14 PM
- James Comey posts from a forest in wake of Mueller report Monday 10:35 AM
In related news, everyone has their priorities straight.
It’s hard to imagine any aspect of long-running animated sitcom Family Guy having an impact on the cultural landscape of 2013. Yet somehow, against all odds and common sense, an Internet grassroots movement has emerged to demand the resurrection of Brian Griffin, the show’s wiseacre, martini-swilling dog, who died in Sunday night’s episode.
Brian, who walked upright and was generally a cultured, “highbrow” counterpoint to the Griffin family’s barrage of idiocies, was struck by a car and replaced with a new dog, Vinny, in a production move intended to “shake things up.” Problem is, die-hard fans tend to prefer the status quo—and they let Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane, already a punching bag for the rest of the Internet, know it, often with the unequivocal hashtag #BringBackBrian but rarely with anything like tact.
— Mike Pantelakis (@mpantelakis) November 25, 2013
I AM SO UPSET THEY KILLED BRIAN IN FAMILY GUY. KILL MEG!!!! NO ONE LIKES HER! #BringBackBrian
— Josh Stump (@JoshStump) November 25, 2013
— Jonesey (@Suns6thMan) November 25, 2013
— name cAnnot be blank (@SPEAKACHUU) November 25, 2013
— Nikki Lynn (@nikkilynn4) November 25, 2013
— Jimbo Slice (@jmerksisabeast) November 25, 2013
As with any Family Guy development, one could also instantly draw an analogy to a far superior episode of The Simpsons—in this case, “The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show,” where a tone-deaf canine character, voiced by Homer, is added to a slumping cartoon-within-the-cartoon, only to be killed off to great acclaim when he fails to impress the show’s loyal viewers.
— Virgil Thankful (@virgiltexas) November 25, 2013
Incredibly, several petitions with the aim of reversing the creative decision to touch upon the realistic heartbreak of pet ownership have surfaced, most notably at Change.org. “Brian Griffin was an important part of our viewing experince,” wrote TV activist Aaron Thompson. “He added a witty and sophisticated element to the show. Family Guy and Fox Broadcasting will lose viewers if Brian Griffin is not brought back to the show.”
More than 3,000 fans have registered their support so far, perhaps aware that in another era, public outcry brought the once-cancelled Family Guy itself back to Fox. Short of some horrible zombie or Frankensteinian contrivance, however, they’re not likely to get their way this time. Truly, if there’s anyone who’d mock so-called grownups for throwing tantrums about what happened on their favorite well-past-its-prime-if-it-ever-had-one cartoon, it’s Brian Griffin.
Update: While most fans continue to mourn their favorite collared cad, others have found hope in a countdown website, briansannouncement.com, unveiled some time after Sunday’s fateful episode. While the site appears to tease a a Brian-centric prequel series, producers have confirmed that the site is a hoax.
Photo by “N.”/Flickr
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'