- The ’24 hours to respond’ meme holds celebrities to a higher standard Monday 8:46 PM
- Twitter users miss the kids who walked in on their dad’s interview Monday 8:40 PM
- ‘The Thing About Men’ Twitter hashtag is full of sarcasm and misogyny Monday 7:27 PM
- This woman said Hillary Clinton losing the 2016 election gave her PTSD, and people are furious Monday 6:45 PM
- Vanessa Bryant files a lawsuit against helicopter company after deaths of Kobe and Gianna Monday 5:49 PM
- Michael Jordan cries at Kobe Bryant memorial, jokes about creating a new meme Monday 4:43 PM
- Woman’s boyfriend says it’s him or the frogs—Reddit says choose the frogs Monday 4:22 PM
- Greyhound buses will no longer allow Border Patrol checks Monday 4:04 PM
- ‘Eat Them To Defeat Them’ is oddly about vegetables—not about eating the rich Monday 3:26 PM
- Marco Rubio mocked for filming talking while driving socialism critique Monday 2:54 PM
- QAnon believer asks Trump’s campaign press secretary who Q is Monday 2:36 PM
- Octavia Spencer has discovered ‘Ma’ memes—and she can’t get enough Monday 2:09 PM
- Meet the anti-Greta Thunberg, a climate ‘skeptic’ funded by the oil industry Monday 1:12 PM
- Harvey Weinstein convicted of rape and sexual assault Monday 12:56 PM
- Senator calls Facebook’s current election disinformation efforts ‘inadequate’ in letter Monday 12:11 PM
Chubby Checker settles lawsuit over ‘Chubby Checker’ penis-measuring app
By far the most contentious legal battle over a penis-measuring app to date.
Quick: What would you call a webOS app that measured how big your erect penis was? If you answered “the Chubby Checker,” you’re correct. (You’re also kind of a pervert, tbh). But there’s one person who isn’t happy about that: Checker himself, who just settled a lawsuit with Hewlett-Packard and Palm, claiming that the penis-measuring app “adversely affects Chubby Checker’s brand and value.”
According to the Hollywood Reporter, Chubby Checker (nee Ernest Evans) sued HP last year for trademark infringement when the app, which allowed users to estimate their penis size by entering their shoe size, first came out.
In response, Hewlett Packard claimed the Chubby Checker was designed and named by a third party, and the company didn’t bear any liability for merely hosting it on their app store. They also claimed they removed the app from their store as soon as Checker complained, months before the lawsuit was filed.
Apparently, however, this story has ended just as well as any penis-measuring app trademark dispute could have: The two parties have settled out of court, with Hewlett Packard agreeing not to use any of Checker’s established trademarks. (The terms of the settlement have not been revealed, as is often the case with these types of high-profile legal disputes).
So now that Checker and HP have reached something of a detente, what can we learn from this dispute? Well, A) That Checker, the artist behind the 1960 hit “The Twist,” is actually still alive—he is, and looking better at 72 than I do at 25, I’d say—and B) That HP could’ve saved themselves a great deal of money and legal headaches if they’d just named the app the “Willie Nelson” and called it a day.
EJ Dickson is a writer and editor who primarily covers sex, dating, and relationships, with a special focus on the intersection of intimacy and technology. She served as the Daily Dot’s IRL editor from January 2014 to July 2015. Her work has since appeared in the New York Times, Rolling Stone, Mic, Bustle, Romper, and Men’s Health.