It is safe to say that topical Twitter parody accounts are literally the funniest and most epic thing in the entire “cyber-verse.” Remember all those Big Bird jokes from a couple months back? Trite, unoriginal garbage, right? OK, now hold on a second. What if the person telling those jokes—was pretending to be Big Bird? I’ll give you some time to process that.
These days, it seems like every major news story has an accompanying topical parody account. Kate Middleton is pregnant? Parody account. Kanye West wears a skirt? Parody account. A natural disaster devastates the Eastern seaboard? Parody account.
If 2012 was “The Year of the Meme” (a phrase I am working to trademark) then 2013 is shaping up to be “The Year of the Topical Parody Account” (again, working to trademark). Here are my predictions for the Twelve Funniest Topical Parody Accounts of 2013:
News Item: A 15-second video of a cat using a fire extinguisher goes viral, gaining 10 million views in a matter of days.
Parody Accounts: @CatFireExtngshr, @FireExtngshrCat
News Item: Kirk Douglas suffers a heart attack at the Academy Awards.
Parody Accounts: @DyingKDouglas, @KirkDouglasHeart
News Item: Scientists successfully clone a baby wooly mammoth.
Parody Accounts: @BabyMammoth, @ClonedMammoth
News Item: President Obama is overheard saying “Weed is cool” at a state function.
Parody Accounts: @ObamaSaysWeedIsCool, @ObamaWeedCool
News Item: Guy Fieri crashes his Lamborghini into the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.
Parody Accounts: @FieriTombLambo, @UnknownTombFieri
News Item: Kanye West and Kim Kardashian get engaged.
Parody Accounts: @KimsRing, @KanyeProposal
News Item: The Royal Baby is born to William and Kate.
Parody Accounts: @RoyalBaby, @BabyRoyalty, @REALRoyalBaby
News Item: Bottlenose dolphins go extinct.
Parody Accounts: @LastDolphin, @ExtinctDolphin
News Item: Joe Biden shits his pants at a White House press conference.
Parody Accounts: @BidenShitPants, @PoopyBidenPants
News Item: A pug runs on the field at a World Series game.
Parody Accounts: @WorldSeriesPug, @BaseballPug, @PugSelig
News Item: Hurricane Sebastien ravages the east coast, leaving hundreds dead and causing billions of dollars in damage.
Parody Accounts: @HurricaneSebastien, @RealHurricaneSeb
News Item: Psy releases “Gangnam Style, Part II.”
Parody Accounts: @GangnamTwo, @GangnamDeux, @GangnamStyleII, @Gangnam2, @GangnamStyle2, @SecondGangnam, @GANGNAM_PART2, @GangnamSequel, @GangnamPsyquel, @GangnamTheSecond, @PsyGangnam2, @GangnamToo, @GangnamStyle2, @2ndGangnam, @Psy2Gangnam, @GangnamPartII, @GangnamPart2, @GangnamPartTwo, @TwoGangnam2, @DoubleGangnam, @Gangnam2tyle, @Gangnam2Gangnam, @GangnamStyleTwo, @Part2Gangnam, @Gangnam2Parody, @Gangnam2Official, @REALGangnam2, @REAL_Gangnam2, @REAL__Gangnam2, @REAL___Gangnam2, @REAL____Gangnam2, @REAL_____Gangnam2, @G2ngn2m2ty2e, @GANGNAM2REAL
Remember, these are just one man’s predictions. Who knows what 2013 will bring? One thing is certain, though: whenever a news story breaks, there will always be an asshole running to his laptop to lazily anthropomorphize it.