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The sports humor website posted an article yesterday asking “Does Pete Davidson have butthole eyes?” In the first line of the piece, author Uncle Chaps explains, “First of all, I don’t mean that to offend. It’s an honest question. Let me clarify for a second.”
Here’s what he means.
Have you ever seen an asshole? Have you ever seen the skin of a buttcheek? Now, and stay with me for a second…
Have you ever seen the skin inside the buttcrack that’s about 1-2 inches away from the asshole? It’s darker than normal, right? I think it’s because of all the wiping. It might be staining from the stuff that comes out but I doubt it. I think it’s longterm trauma or bruising but it also very well might be staining. After all, why would anal bleaching be a thing if it was bruising? You cant bleach a bruise. Everybody knows that. It’s a stain.
Grande caught wind of the piece after it was promoted on Twitter and fired back at the humor site.
“[Y]’all do kno this man has an auto immune disease …… right ? ….. like you do understand what you’re doing when u do this right ? jus wanna make sure,” the singer wrote, referring to Davidson’s Crohn’s disease.
y’all do kno this man has an auto immune disease ...... right ? ..... like you do understand what you’re doing when u do this right ? jus wanna make sure— Ariana Grande (@ArianaGrande) August 24, 2018
Grande tweeted a follow-up that she’s since deleted in which she explained that Barstool has been after Davidson to appear on its podcast for over three years.
There was a medical explanation here, of course, for the eyes.
“The reason they’re sunken is because people with Crohn’s disease can sometimes become dehydrated,” Dr. Albert Knapp told Page Six. Knap is a top gastroenterologist in New York City. “But when you rehydrate they return to normal. Crohn’s disease does not directly cause eyes that look sunken in.”
Pete Davidson’s eyes look like buttholes. Some people have taken that as an insult. It wasn’t meant to be. In fact, many would say that it’s a compliment. Moreover, I even said I’m sorry if this offends in the original blog.
Davidson doesn’t seem too fazed by the comparison. He seems more concerned with his 24-hour erection.
H/T Buzzfeed News
Chris Illuminati is an author and reporter whose work for the Daily Dot focuses on meme culture. His work has been published in Rolling Stone, FanSided, BroBible, Penthouse, and AskMen.