This person went on a date, and instead of chatting, the person across from her crocheted with their headphones on. Viewers are divided about whether this is strange or ideal date behavior.
The series of videos has over 3.5 million total views and thousands of comments as of Monday morning.
In the first viral video, Haille Cruz Fitzgerald (@haillefitzgerald) explained that she’s on a Hinge date (presumably a first date), and her date has been sitting across from her “crocheting without saying a word” for the past half-hour. She later shares that the date continued to do so for up to an hour.
The video shows her date crocheting with a white-green yarn and headphones. She appears very concentrated as she looks down at her project.
“This is ideal as like. date night when you’ve been together for months not a first date,” the top comment read.
In a follow-up video, Fitzgerald said she gave her date a second chance, thinking she may have just been nervous the first time, but once again, she was crocheting.
“Crochet is great for keeping your hands busy when you’re nervous, she might be crocheting to keep herself grounded when she’s so close to you,” a commenter pointed out.
Another said she should ask her date about it instead of just sitting and wondering.
“Its parallel play, odd for a first date but definitely something enjoyable for neurodivergent people,” a person explained.
While parallel play usually refers to young kids playing independently next to each other, it is starting to become a conscious way for adults to spend time together.
For example, two adults playing in parallel can mean one is playing video games while the other is reading a book in the same room. Or one is cooking while the other is doing a crossword puzzle.
“Parallel play is one of the hallmarks of secure relationships, but it has to be done right,” psychiatrist Dr. Amir Levine told the New York Times. “It’s all about availability. If you know that the other person is available and that, if you need them, they will pay attention to you, then you feel secure.”
Also, in the same way, the five love languages exist, which are five foundational ways that people express or receive love:
- Acts of service
- Receiving gifts
- Quality time
- Words of affirmation
- Physical touch
There are also love locutions specific to neurodivergent people, and parallel play is one of them:
- Info dumping
- Parallel play
- Penguin pebbling
- Deep pressure
- Support swapping
These languages are emotional bids and the foundation for emotional communication. It’s possible this is what Fitzgerald’s date was doing.
But, some speculate this video isn’t real, and Fitzgerald’s date is actually a person she’s been dating for a while now or a friend.
The Daily Dot reached out to Fitzgerald for comment via Instagram direct message.