Note that none of this is good for your heart.
The dread of Valentine’s Day is almost as old as the thing itself. For every couple humble-bragging about their plans, there are two singletons bemoaning and/or celebrating their Forever Alone status. Whatever, both groups are entirely insufferable; I neither care to hear about how romantic your boo is with that surprise dinner res or how you’re drinking wine alone with your cats.
The surplus of attention, negative or positive, is what makes Valentine’s day obnoxious. You either hate it or you love it, and either way you’re taking to the Internet in droves to tell me about it. Between the happy hype and Debbie Downers, I can find only one piece of solace:
Yep, any brand that cuts their wares into the shape of a heart gets my vote for being just plain fun and throwing a little shade at a holiday people take too seriously. There’s something almost sarcastic about turning greasy fast food into a heart-shaped art form that makes the entire day tolerable. Maybe we love it because it’s literally the least effort we can put forward into showing someone we care (here, some fast food cut this thing into a smaller piece of thing, I love you!) or we can celebrate alone (begrudgingly, though almost elate in our aloneness).
Really, this is what we can all appreciate this Friday, whether we’re paired up or flying solo.
Heart-shaped chicken nuggets
who needs a valentine when you can have heart shaped chicken nuggets pic.twitter.com/tMc2Hpsn2c
— justin (@bieberforluke) February 12, 2014
Buy me a heart shaped pizza on vday so I know it’s real. pic.twitter.com/s5uBv7dhjd
— Riana R. (@rivnv) February 12, 2014
— Alexa Seybold (@alexaseybold) February 12, 2014
Chick-fil-a biscuits are heart shaped…how cute 🙈 pic.twitter.com/jagmkQyvHf
— katelyn (@katelyn_ballard) February 12, 2014
More heart-shaped pizza (from Pizza Hut… in the U.K., at least)
— Sugarscape (@sugarscape) February 11, 2014
… and from Domino’s (in Japan, which is seriously stepping up its game).
— Tokyo Reporter (@tokyoreporter) February 6, 2014
Aww just what everyone wants for valentines day…heart shaped beef pic.twitter.com/cUGw4QqrQV
— Megan Ritchey (@_meganritchey_) February 12, 2014
Heart shaped bagels, guys.. Heart shaped bagels 😭😍💕 pic.twitter.com/OmNZ49u6uF
— abs (@abigaildano) February 12, 2014
Photo via Anonymous9000 (CC BY 2.0)
Pure, uncut internet. Straight to your inbox.