man says work feedback is about personality not performance tiktok


‘You’re doing a great job, but you could be nicer’: Worker shares relatable frustration when getting feedback on personality instead of performance

'This is why I love working remote.'


Natasha Dubash


Posted on Oct 29, 2022

Unnecessary reviews at work are annoying, to say the least, but what do you do when your boss starts to give you feedback on your personality and not your job performance?

Pabel Martinez who goes by Plurawl (@plurawl) on TikTok, took to the social media app to share his feelings on the matter. 

@plurawl #careeradvice #blackincorporate #blackcorporate #podcasts #podcast #latino #hispanic #blackcorporatetiktok #latina #wfh #latinxcreatives #professionalism #redefineprofessionalism #latinasincorporate #womenincorporate #corporate #corporatelife #corporatetiktok #afrotech ♬ original sound – finallyaaron2

In a short clip that he uploaded on Oct. 12, the content creator is seen looking at his computer with a perplexed look on his face. The text overlay on the post reads, “receiving feedback on your personality instead of your performance at work.” 

Martinez then puts his hand over his head, shakes it dismissively, and shuts his laptop — a succinct answer to the question of what to do when your boss offers feedback on your personality instead of your job performance. 

The video received over 217,000 views as of Saturday and plenty of comments with viewers wholeheartedly agreeing with the TikTok post.

“It’s 90% personality, 10% work,” said one person.

“It’s literally high school all over again,” said another.

A number of people chimed in with specific examples of things they had been told at work.

“‘You don’t look enthusiastic,'” read one.

“‘You’re doing a great job, but you could be nicer,'” said another.

One person didn’t mince words when it came to their imagined response, writing, “‘You could be more of a team player during meetings’ all because I don’t laugh at none of their jokes because it’s not funny.”

Some people said that “being likable will get you in places and open many more doors than being a hard worker ever will,” but according to a report from Fortune magazine, there’s a long way to go when it comes to making behavioral changes in the workplace.

The publication says that women and people of color are more likely to receive feedback on their personality over their job performance than men. However, the problem with feedback about someone’s personality is that it does not indicate how the employee can improve at their job. This leads to these groups being overlooked for promotions which results in them being underrepresented in leadership roles and in the business overall.

Viewers also expressed their frustration at being singled out for not being social when all they’re trying to do at work is the job they were being paid to do.

“Just had this meeting on Wednesday. They stay unoriginal. You hired me for a job right? Not to be your best friend,” said one person.

Another questioned why their personality was being called into question when their job performance exceeded expectations.

“My manager says I’m not engaged enough or active enough with the team,” they wrote. “Oh the same team that excluded me? But I exceed my goals you set. Okay.” 

One person who works from home pointed out that this is why they enjoy not having to go into the office.

“This is why I love working remote,” they wrote. “I can genuinely just get on with my work and we don’t have to have cameras on. Wonderful.”

The Daily Dot reached out to Martinez via email.

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*First Published: Oct 29, 2022, 8:44 am CDT