This week, all over Ohio, high school students are taking tests they must pass to graduate. The pressure is high, so several local newscasters in the Toledo area made the bold choice to try to speak “teen” and give them some encouragement going into the exams. However, their adult-to-teen dictionary is more than a little off.
The short segment on WTOL starts with newscaster Melissa Andrews saying, “Good morning, TPS students, it is testing week and it’s time to slay all day.” A heavy wave of second-hand embarrassment may already be hitting you, but I’m sorry, it gets worse.
“YEEEEET!” replies co-anchor Tim Miller in a high pitched squeak. “Stay woke, be on fleek, get that Gucci breakfast.”
“GOOAAALS!” Andrews inexplicably responds. She then tells students to say, “bye Felicia,” to testing stress and tosses it over to weatherman Chris Vickers who continues the crimes against language.
“YEEEEESSSSS!” Vickers says (which maybe was supposed to be “yaaas”?). He says the weather in Toledo is, “gonna be v lit during testing week.” It’s not clear what that means in the context of both temperature and testing accommodations.
Turning over to traffic, newscaster Steven Jackson says the traffic is “Better than OKURRRR!” It’s a sound so painfully awkward that Cardi B may have felt a disturbance in the force.
With an almost (but maybe not quite) knowing smile Jackson continues, “We’re talking turnt. FOMO won’t be an issue. No traffic problems around any TPS schools to keep you from taking those tests.”
The segment finishes with Miller reminding students to be “extra extra” and Andrews saying that they are “v proud.” “Good luck TPS students!” the whole team says together.
If nothing else, it certainly made students take notice, either through the power of laughter or horror.
H/T BuzzFeed News