What would Twitter be like if it were a man? That’s the hypothetical question being posed in a trending hashtag this morning, and it’s resulting in, well, a lot of jokes at men’s expense. It’s OK, they can handle it.
#IfTwitterWereAMan it would make 30% more than its female counterpart Facebook
— Joseph P DiCarlo (@JPDiCarloart) May 6, 2016
https://twitter.com/KY_Jen/status/728556963215331329
Started by @firstandmonday, who host the Hashtag Roundup app, #IfTwitterWereAMan contains a lot of stereotypical jokes (men don’t like asking for directions!) and things that don’t even make sense (really? You’d marry Twitter?). But a lot of the jokes are poking fun at the inequalities between men and women.
#IfTwitterWereAMan, women would reassuringly tell him his 140 character limit is just the right amount, but they secretly would want more c
— Sir Mike S’alott (@SirMikeSaLott) May 6, 2016
#IfTwitterWereAMan it would fall asleep after a mind blowing tweet
— Doctor 420 (@TheTrueDocLove) May 6, 2016
#IfTwitterWereAMan he would follow everyone like a creepy stalker
— Ivana (@Ivana_Pearson) May 6, 2016
And he would probably have problems with the cops pic.twitter.com/1kp8Lg2Sco
#IfTwitterWereAMan being followed wouldn’t be a good thing.
— 𝓢𝓱𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓮 ✌🏻❤️🎵 (@dirtroaddiva1) May 6, 2016
#IfTwitterWereAMan you’d get a whole bunch of tweets on one day, then nothing for a few days. Then just one that says “hey”.
— K. (@kittykaresless) May 6, 2016
#IfTwitterWereAMan guys would get 280 characters, women would get 70.
— Jessica (@JessicaGoldstei) May 6, 2016
https://twitter.com/Br0k3nGl4zz/status/728568562223329280
#IfTwitterWereAMan I would send him to finishing school so he’d be more respectful to women
— 🅲🅷🅸🅿 🅱🆁🅾🆆🅽 (@ChipBrown) May 6, 2016
In a lot of ways, this isn’t even a hypothetical. Twitter has a long history of not paying attention to the abuse of its women users, who endure harassing and threatening tweets. And how else do you explain all the dick pics?
Wait. It’s not? Feels like it is with the amount of dic pics I get. #IfTwitterWereAMan
— Theresa (@tlcprincess) May 6, 2016
That settles it, Twitter is already a man.
