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Fox News contributor Tammy Bruce gave the internet a good laugh on Tuesday when she insisted that gingerbread cookies are “obviously” men.
In a bizarre segment on Tucker Carlson Tonight, Carlson and radio host and contributor Bruce complained about “gender-neutral gingerbread people.” Bruce complained that people are “bullied” into what can and cannot say. “In this case, it’s calling a gingerbread man a gingerbread person,” Bruce said gravely. “When obviously, they’re men.”
To a lot of folks on the internet, however, it was not so obvious, and Bruce’s grave certainty was hilarious. For starters, they’re not men… they’re cookies. Inanimate objects don’t have genders.
This is the ideal male body. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like. pic.twitter.com/gm7Pa6KNgO— Mannheim Steamroller Season (@soundkitties) December 19, 2018
No!!!— Steve Fox (@stevenadamfox) December 19, 2018
Not Men. Not People.
And oh my lord the tarts!! We all know *their* gender.— Rebecca Rauber (@rebeccarauber) December 19, 2018
People also wondered, “Is it really that obvious?” After all, it’s 2018. In gingerbread land are gingerbread women not allowed to wear pants? Or is a gingerbread person basically the same as a gingerbread man, because they are a single gender species? Are gingerbread cookies always gingerbread men regardless of what is frosted on them? These are ridiculous questions that no one should be asking, but ones we must interrogate if gingerbread cookies are “obviously men.”
Because nothing says "male" like a vaguely human-like shape.— Julanar (@Julanar68) December 19, 2018
Here's the deal: if you think that the thing that defines a man is having a penis, and you get real mad about gender-neutral gingerbread people, you're saying that gingerbread men have penises. https://t.co/RyhfJZBi9P— Liveware Problem (@NoraReed) December 19, 2018
People were also happy to point out the hypocrisy of people who complain about identity politics and “free speech” being so hung up on how we gender an actual cookie, while also refusing to respect the gender of trans people. On the other hand, some saw it as a purposeful way to frame themselves as victims while trying to enforce language that they see as correct.
Question: Who seems to be culturally offended here?— A.R. Moxon (Read Pinned Tweet!) (@JuliusGoat) December 19, 2018
Who seems to be claiming victimhood to enforce language?
Who seems to be making a big deal about the words people use?
Who seems to be narrowing categories of expression rather than expanding it?https://t.co/jQO2LZpjwH
There’s always some new baffling thing in the discourse about trans issues and gender identity but the people who say “there is no separate thing that is gender, there’s just biological sex” turning around and saying “gingerbread people are men, dammit” is some next-level weird.— Jacob T. Levy (@jtlevy) December 19, 2018
If you’re not the kind of person who thinks that we need to assign gender to our holiday desserts, Carlson and Bruce’s insistence that the slightly spicy holiday cookies are absolutely gendered might seem strange. If only to annoy them further, the best response may be to make gingerbread people representing the whole gender spectrum, and have a lovely time doing it.
My gingerbread people are gender fluid and have been and always will be they/them.— Gay Space Force Cadet (@Marla_Hooch78) December 19, 2018
Dumb lady: Gendered gingerbread is the tipping point— The Hoarse Whisperer (@HoarseWisperer) December 19, 2018
Tucker: We must fight spiritual neutering!
(I so want to send Tucker some gender queer non-binary gingerbread people.)
Time to get baking.
Alex Dalbey is a writer and zinester currently living in Saint Paul, Minnesota. They have written for The Daily Dot, Kill Screen, The Lingerie Addict, and Bullet Points.