Porn producers are not exactly known for their magnanimity, but if you’re a high-profile woman who’s just undergone a public disgrace/political downfall/bankruptcy filing/murder trial, you can expect someone from the adult industry to come knocking with a job offer.
The latest public female figure to receive an offer from the adult industry? Former First Lady of France Valerie Trierwiler, who recently made headlines after her husband, French President Francois Hollande, dumped her for a younger woman. As a consolation prize of sorts, YouPorn reached out to Trierwiler with a $500,000 offer to become the website’s first official “French spokesperson/ambassador,” whatever the hell that entails.
Here’s the full offer letter, from YouPorn vice president Brad Burns (it’s also reprinted on the website in Trierwiler’s native tongue):
Dear Valerie Trierweiler,
My name is Brad Burns, Vice President of adult entertainment website, YouPorn.com. On behalf of our company, I’d like to formally extend an offer for you to serve as our French Ambassador and Spokesperson.
Given your recent unfortunate personal circumstances, we envision a possibility whereby you may be visiting some of our website properties in the near future. Couple that with your past experiences as a journalist, we think you would be a perfect candidate to act as our French ambassador, a post where you would be responsible for generating content around European pornography habits and act as a spokesperson.
Frankly, we have always admired the more liberal European attitude towards sex and believe that you may allow us to open more eyes to the importance of what we do. Given your high-profile and journalistic experience, we are willing to offer you a one-year $500,000 (U.S.D.) contract.
If possible, I’d love to continue our discourse to discuss the terms of contract.
We appreciate your consideration, and are looking forward to hearing back from you soon.
All the best,
Brad Burns, Vice President
YouPorn.com
The terms and conditions of Burns’ spokesperson offer are a bit vague, to say the least (what exactly does a YouPorn spokesperson do, and why would a free porn website need a spokesperson to begin with? It’s not like they need a million-dollar marketing campaign to convince people to avail themselves of their service). But $500,000 to work for a porn website without even having to take your clothes off is a pretty sweet deal. In fact, should Trierweiler be unavailable, I’d like to humbly propose myself as a candidate for the gig. My qualifications include proficiency in Microsoft Excel, an academic knowledge of hardcore pornography, and a solid C+ in 10th-grade French.
H/T YouPorn | Photo by vincen-t/Flickr (CC BY – NC – SA 2.0)