Blake Shelton is 'People's 'Sexiest Man Alive' for some reason

Screengrabs via people/Twitter

People names Blake Shelton ‘Sexiest Man Alive’—and the internet wants no part of it

'I don't think he's even the sexiest man named Blake Shelton.'

Photo of Samantha Grasso 

Samantha Grasso

IRL

Posted on Nov 15, 2017   Updated on May 22, 2021, 11:02 am CDT

People Magazine has deemed country music star, Voice judge, and noted racist and homophobe Blake Shelton to be its “Sexiest Man Alive” of 2017. Yes. Blake Shelton. Bland, not-nice white guy with terrible jokes Blake Shelton.

Just look at that rugged… grimace. How… charming?

No, Shelton’s crowning does not appear to be a joke—but the internet certainly thinks it is. This is the same guy who advocated for violence toward gay men, tweeting in 2012, “Re-writing my fav Shania Twain song… Any man that tries Touching my behind He’s gonna be a beaten, bleedin’, heaving kind of guy…”? And then in the same year, he also tweeted: “Wish the dickhead in the next room would either shut up or learn some English so I would at least know what he’s planning to bomb!!”

Racism and homophobia aside, maybe Shelton is attractive, perhaps even handsome, to some people.

But sexy? Deserving of a title shared by Dwayne Johnson, Chris Hemsworth, and Ryan Reynolds?

Definitively, objectively, not.

I mean honestly, didn’t People have a few more options?

https://twitter.com/lyzl/status/930649409750290432

https://twitter.com/owillis/status/930658217453150208

This just has to be some kind of prank—on Shelton and the entire population that cares about such a title—right?

https://twitter.com/DanaSchwartzzz/status/930817958485659648

https://twitter.com/susie_meister/status/930628965680549888

Can’t we, like, impeach Shelton as sexiest man? Is that a thing? Isn’t this country a democracy? Clearly, Idris Elba had this spot locked down.

Some of us would rather just be kept in the dark. We don’t know who this unattractive Shelton fellow is, and we certainly don’t want to find out.

You know, at least Shelton’s win has allowed us to embrace our own outer beauty, comparatively?

https://twitter.com/Kyle_Dough/status/930827028563136513

OK, OK. Maybe People does have a point: Just take one look into Shelton’s cold, hard eyes and you’ll immediately notice that dark gleam that tells you, yes, he definitely took out all the other men in the world and is the only, and therefore sexiest, man alive.

Sorry, Idris. Know you’re the sexiest man alive in our hearts.

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*First Published: Nov 15, 2017, 11:37 am CST

Samantha Grasso

Samantha Grasso is a former IRL staff writer for the Daily Dot with a reporting emphasis on immigration. Her work has appeared on AJ+, Vox, Splinter, Los Angeles Magazine, and Austin Monthly.

Samantha Grasso