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What do millennials hate about the Bible? Is it that in an increasingly globalized society, in which they have access to a broader variety of doctrines and mindsets, treating a single book as fact can start to feel false, even for those of faith?
Nope, it’s words. There are too many! Luckily, BibleEmoji.com translates all your favorite Bible verses into emoji, sparing you the pain of navigating scripture with only letters to guide you.
“Bible Emoji: Scripture 4 Millennials,” an entire King James Bible translated into colorful glyphs, dropped this weekend, but the folks behind it also set up a direct translation service if you didn’t feel like flipping through the entire good book.
Some characters and common phrases are pretty straightforward, such as the little halo guy for “God,” and prayer hands for… prayer hands. But what about some of the holy scripture’s more difficult passages? We took a deep dive into the Bible to see just how well emoji work. Spoiler alert: Revelations is liiiiiiit.
nevertheless these shall ye not eat of them that chew the cud, or of them that divide the hoof: as the 🐪, cuz he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto u.
& if a woman approach unto any beast, & lie 👇 thereto, thou shalt kill the woman, & the beast: they shall surely b put 2 💀; their blood shall b upon them.
& the daughter of any priest, if she profane herself by playing the whore, she profaneth her father: she shall b burnt with 🔥🔥🔥.
& it came 2 pass on the morrow, that the firstborn 💬 unto the younger, behold, i lay yester🌌 with my father: let us make him drink 🍷 this 🌌 also; & go thou in, & lie with him, that we may preserve 🌱 of our father.
the wise shall inherit 🙌: but shame shall b the promotion of fools.
& 😇 💬 unto moses, stretch out thine ✋ over the land of egypt 4 the locusts, that they may come 👆 upon the land of egypt, & eat every 🌿 of the land, even all that the hail hath left.
😊 shall he b, that taketh & 💨eth thy little ones against the stones.
& i will kill her children with 💀; & all the ⛪es shall know that i am he which searcheth the reins & 💖s: & i will give unto every 1 of u according 2 ur works.
& there appeared a great wonder in ✨✨✨; a woman clothed with the 🌞, & the 🌜 under her feet, & upon her head a 👑 of 12 🌠s:
1 Timothy 2:12
but i suffer not a woman 2 teach, nor 2 usurp authority over the man, but 2 b in 🔇.
…how they didn’t put a poop emoji in “Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces” is an abomination.
Jaya Saxena is a lifestyle writer and editor whose work focuses primarily on women's issues and web culture. Her writing has appeared in GQ, ELLE, the Toast, the New Yorker, Tthe Hairpin, BuzzFeed, Racked, Eater, Catapult, and others. She is the co-author of 'Dad Magazine,' the author of 'The Book Of Lost Recipes,' and the co-author of 'Basic Witches.'