You’re bad at ghosting.
Look, I know we’re interesting, and you’re bored, and you probably have nothing better to do while sitting on the toilet than scroll through Snapchat stories. But while you’re tapping our faces to see the next cute snap of us at the ballgame or happy hour or brunch, even though you stopped talking to us ages ago for no reason, we know you are watching.
I’m writing this as a message to everyone who ghosts: We see when you have viewed our Snapchat stories.
It’s equal parts hilarious and flattering that you still peek at everything we post when you never replied to a text message. (Or multiple text messages, or Twitter DMs, or whatever, you get the point.) However, it’s also frustrating that that you’d rather be indirect about your feelings and low-key watch our content than just be honest with a fellow human being.
Sure, I could block you from my Snapchat, but in a way I enjoy the fact you didn’t have the courtesy to tell me you were no longer interested but still want to see how good I look on the weekends.
This behavior isn’t unusual. I’ve heard from friends that this happens to them, too. And because Snapchat is the ultimate in passive-aggressive communication that disappears within 10 seconds or 24 hours, no one talks to each other directly and we all exist in the endless cycle of snapping and viewing and looking at the view count. (To see who’s viewed your snaps, go to your stories page, and tap on the three dots by “My Story.” Tap on the view count.)
So here I am, making ghosts aware that their shady behavior isn’t going unnoticed, and providing ghostees with a link to send to all those people who stopped responding on every platform, but just can’t quit you on Snapchat.
Pure, uncut internet. Straight to your inbox.