EPA scolds employees for pooping in the hallway

There's a serial pooper on the loose in Denver. 


Patrick Howell O'Neill


Published Jun 26, 2014   Updated May 31, 2021, 1:40 am CDT

Does a bureaucrat shit in the woods?

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No, he does it in the office hallway. 

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Environmental Protection Agency managers in the agency’s Denver office wrote an email earlier this year begging employees to stop pooping in the hallway, Government Executive reports, after “several incidents” including “an individual placing feces in the hallway.”

Workplace violence expert John Nicoletti consulted EPA management on the issue, warning that the serial pooper(s) would “probably escalate” their “very dangerous” actions.

“Management is taking this situation very seriously and will take whatever actions are necessary to identify and prosecute these individuals,” Deputy Regional Administrator Howard Cantor wrote in the email to employees.

The chaos in Denver isn’t limited to the hallway. Toilets have been intentionally clogged with paper towels as well, possibly leaving other employees wondering if the hallway is the best alternative.

Then, in the 21st-century equivalent of a Wild West wanted poster, Cantor asked that anyone who knows anything about the outlaw poopers to come forward. Sadly, no reward has yet been offered.

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H/T Government Executive | Photo via Midia Mix/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

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*First Published: Jun 26, 2014, 1:35 pm CDT