Etsy Goatse-wreath seller wants to “jazz up your crap”

How to watch Project Veritas’ CNN videos—and why you shouldn’t
Only the most gullible among us would take these videos at face value.

See all Editor's Picks

jazzcrap2a

Turning water into wine was pretty cool. But taking crappy gifts like an ashtray and turning it into a Dr. Who–inspired piece of art is truly a miracle.

Turning water into wine was pretty cool. But taking crappy gifts like an ashtray and turning it into a Dr. Who–inspired piece of art is truly a miracle.

That art was created by Etsy seller Cappy Sue, a self-proclaimed “penis-maker extraordinaire” who promises to transform any crappy gift into something better.

“The cost for a basic jazz up your crap service will be twenty bucks this will get you a very very redone item,” Sue explained on Etsy. “The item must fit in a medium priority box as that is what I will be shipping it back to you in.”

Sue’s store is full of tastefully offensive gifts like Goatse wreath ornaments, an illustration of an octopus with penises for tentacles, and a painting of a very pregnant and naked Troll doll. She has sold 345 items since opening her store in October 2008.

“My shop came about because I have horrible nightmares almost daily,” Sue writes on her Etsy about page. “So that is the story of my shop so far but my goal is to turn my little shop into the jumping off point for a little art world empire. That being said I would like it to grow but stay true to the outlandish humor never folding to the cupcake view of things when you take off all the real edge from the work. I hope to always be offending someone and making someone else laugh.”

To date, Sue has only “jazzed” up three crappy gifts, including a wooden toy home and a photo frame of sorts. Check out the before and after photos below.

All photos by Cappy Sue/Etsy

Business
I’ll take 1 T-shirt—and a unicorn vampire Viking with laser nipples
Gabe Connor of Goodie Two Sleeves talks to the Daily Dot about starting his T-shirt business from scratch and how his Reddit-approved package drawings made sales sizzle.
From Our VICE Partners

Pure, uncut internet. Straight to your inbox.

[emma_form]