Don't you wish that McDonald's commercials would convey the message we all know is true—that our Big Mac cravings are nothing more than primal expressions of wanton lust?
Thanks to the Onion, at least one truthful ad now exists. In a new video posted to YouTube, the satire site equates our hunger for the chain's signature sandwich to everything from "the rage of steel on bone" to "the caress of a gentle lover." Of course, decidedly unsexy images of graphic beef production are spliced with open-mouth-chewing and human intimacy.
It's like watching Super Size Me, only you aren't yelling "OK, I get it already" at your screen every five minutes.
We can only hope that a "French fry foreplay" commercial is rolled out next. After all, the pain that poor potatoes deal with on a daily basis goes wholly unnoticed.