Like a lot of people, the first time you visited Reddit you probably said to yourself, “Damn I wish there was a rap/instructional video about this website.” Well, it may be too late for you, but starting today, every poor soul who stumbles into the Reddit maze looking for advice animals or porn or President Obama will not be alone. They’ll have a guide in verse form.
Occasional Daily Dot contributor Dave Holmes (fresh off composing our very own theme song) has taken his songify-the-news skills to Reddit. The video, made for Holmes’ new employer, tech site PandoDaily, stars rooftops and horrifying, animated rage faces. The song boils down Reddit’s entire history into just few lines and sneaks in a quick how-to guide. Take this, for example:
So jailbait was banned because it got bad press
Now everyone’s on Reddit even Mr. President
But just when it was on an unstoppable roll
Gawker exposed its most infamous troll
Get this man a Grammy! Or a Webby. Do they give those for Reddit rap songs? Regardless, Holmes’ work here will surely start the next great movement in hip hop. Expect Jay Z’s “Big Pinnin’” to drop later this year.
Here are the full lyrics so you can sing along at home:
Reddit started in 2005
As a place to share the images and stories you like
Others get to comment on and rate your posts
You’ll be on the frontpage with enough upvotesThe site’s divided into what’s called subreddits
Movies, sports, technology, and politics
There are many more on all types of things
From My Little Pony to spacedicks
By 2006 they’d made a big splash
And were bought by the publisher Conde Nast
Now that Reddit and New Yorker are on the same team
They shouldn’t have subreddits with barely-clothed teens
So jailbait was banned because it got bad press
Now everyone’s on reddit even Mr. President
But just when it was on an unstoppable roll
Gawker exposed its most infamous trollMichael Brutsch, always courting scandal
A peddler of porn and gore who hid behind a handle
When Gawker exposed his identity
Many subreddits banned them, how’s that for free speech?
Reddit wants to protect identities
But today, who expects anonymity?
It makes you wonder what it takes to get banned
If we post this song, will they remove us for spam?
Now it’s time to get his jam on Radio Reddit.
Photo via PandoDaily/YouTube