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Nick Offerman updates ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas’ on ‘The Tonight Show’

“Some kids were sleeping and dreaming of sugar plums and other random sh*t.”


Michelle Jaworski


Posted on Dec 19, 2014   Updated on May 29, 2021, 10:53 pm CDT

‘Twas the week before Christmas, and Jimmy Fallon recalled an old holiday favorite.

Having someone read The Night Before Christmas, the classic poem from Clement Moore, is a staple of the holiday season. But since time is precious on The Tonight Show, Fallon couldn’t possibly read the entire thing. Instead, he brought in a no-nonsense Nick Offerman to trim it down for him.

He updated the language, cut out a lot, added some colorful words, and asked the questions we were all wondering. Given that our attention spans aren’t as long as those of our ancestors, we don’t really need all of those vivid and descriptive words anymore.

And what is a thistle, anyway?

Screengrab via The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon/YouTube

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*First Published: Dec 19, 2014, 10:37 am CST