CM Punk, writer Kevin Seccia has an offer that should be of interest.
The author of Punching Tom Hanks and man behind How To Beat Up Anything has issued a thousand dollar bounty to the first person who beats up pop star Chris Brown, who infamously beat up his then-and-now girlfriend Rihanna the night before the 2009 Grammy Awards.
“To be clear, beating him up means at least two solid punches,” wrote Seccia in a post entitled “Thousand Dollar Bounty Offered on Chris Brown.” “He looks like the kind of guy you could easily drop with one clean shot, so if he crumples immediately and your next punches misses, don’t worry, it still counts.”
Last night, Seccia announced his bounty offer on Twitter, where it was reposted by The Next Web’s Brett Petersel and retweeted 294 times. Hopefully one of those retweets reached CB Challenger, a Twitter user who describes himself as a “5’7 160Lbs 24 year old from Seattle with only 1 year of martial arts training who wants a UFC rules MMA match w/ Chris Brown.”
It should be noted that Seccia’s Chris Brown post is one of the few How To Beat Up Anything posts that fails to actually explain how one would go about beating up the subject. In the past, Seccia has detailed methods for how one would go about beating up Santa Claus, a co-worker, oneself, an orange traffic cone, Zombie Abe Lincoln, and every character that Robert Downey Jr. has ever played in a movie.