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Fox News talking head Bill O’Reilly writes history books about the murders of famous political and religious figures. But you needn’t read his latest, Killing Patton, because he spoiled the best part on Jimmy Kimmel Live: Adolf Hitler had a flatulence problem.
The malady Hitler suffered, known as meteorism or tympanites, involves the swelling of the abdomen from excess gas in the gastrointestinal tract. “Can you imagine, in the bunker with Adolf?” O’Reilly laughs, noting that it would have been a choice between huffing Führer fumes or taking a bullet in the head outside. We can’t speak to the validity of his medical diagnosis, which holds that Hitler had “every condition in the world” because “evil feeds on itself,” but hey, if we can add fart jokes to the repertoire of ridicule surrounding the bastard, so be it.
Semi-related: anyone know a good dealer for cocaine eyedrops? They sound intense.
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'