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- Seth Abramson’s epic Mueller thread finally comes to a conclusion Friday 11:40 AM
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New Twitter feed @_FloridaMan tweets out horrific stories that contain the phrase “Florida Man” in the headline.
New Twitter feed @_FloridaMan, as noted by Slate, tweets out horrific stories that contain the phrase “Florida Man” in the headline. It’s a simple but effective idea, and there’s far more material than you’d expect.
Once you delve into the stories linked below, things get downright ugly. However, it’s a lot funnier if you imagine it’s the same guy doing all of the following things on his way to winning every Darwin Award ever.
- Florida Man Arrested After Pocket-Dialing 911
- Florida Man Stabs Wife Over Hamburger
- Florida Man Busted For Performing Back Alley Butt Injections
- Florida Man Arrested For Trying To Force Fiancé To Swallow Engagement Ring (though that really should read “fiancée”)
- Florida Man Builds Mini Car For His Pet Parrot
- Florida Man Admits Biting Off Girlfriend’s Thumb
- Florida Man Repeatedly Called 911 Saying He Needed A Ride To Mexico
- Florida Man Faces Fines, Points After Bicycle Ride
- Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Man, Nocks [sic] Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
- Florida Man Owes Ex-Wife $166K in Child Support
- Police Arrest Florida Man For Drunken Joyride On Motorized Scooter At Walmart
- Florida Man Squats In Multimillion-Dollar Home
- Florida Man Finds Way To Connect With Cats
- Florida Man On Trial For Threatening To Kill President Obama On Facebook
- Florida Man Shoots Himself In Crotch With Flare Gun
- Florida Man Charged After Alleged Naked Rampage Inside Home
- Florida Man Says He’s Obama And Attempts To Abduct Children
- Florida Man Armed With Syringe Robbed Pet Store
- Florida Man Arrested For Giving Wedgies
- Florida Man’s Bulldog Found Safe After Being Dognapped At Gunpoint
The last one doesn’t fit quite as well as the others, and we wish the Twitter feed were around when a Florida man ate another guy’s face. Still, worst superhero ever.
Photo via DonkeyHotey/Flickr
Based in Montreal, Kris Holt has been writing about technology and web culture since 2010. He writes for Engadget and Tech News World, and his byline has also appeared in Paste, Salon, International Business Times, Mashable, and elsewhere.