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‘The amount of men who think the library is a good pick up spot’: Student says man harassing her at library wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer

'He realized you were in the middle of something and still choose to be persistent.'


Jack Alban


Posted on Oct 15, 2022

TikToker Danessy Auguste (@danessyauguste) went on a viral rant about a man who wouldn’t leave her alone as she attempted to complete an assignment at a library.

Auguste says in the clip that on multiple occasions during her interaction with the strange man who gave her “school-shooter” vibes, he wouldn’t pick up on her clear cues that she didn’t want to speak with him and instead just wanted to focus on her work.

To make matters worse, because he was so clearly uninterested in her responses and ignored the fact she was clearly trying to work while constantly pushing to set up a time to go on a date with her, Auguste began fearing for her safety and thought that the man’s verbal persistence would translate into a physical one.

This prompted her to covertly try to sneak out of the library when she had the opportunity and go through a sequence of inconvenient maneuvers and take out-of-the-way paths until she was sure that the man wasn’t following her.


♬ original sound – Danessy Auguste

“There’s something so crazy about a man, number one, not understanding what no means but not understanding that when you’re being heavily lied to it’s probably because the person that is lying to you does not want to be in the situation that you just placed them in,” she says at the beginning of the video.

Auguste explains she was completing an assignment at the library, which she was almost finished with, when the man approached her unprompted.

“I was such on a roll like, I was in the mood and then I just like kind of look up and a man is standing over me and he’s like, ‘hey what’s your name?’ Literally make up a lie, like Denise, there’s no reason for me to give a man a real name especially if I don’t find him attractive but honestly, in general, I never give men my real name.”

The TikToker gets increasingly frustrated at the fact that she gave several non-verbal cues to intone that she’s attempting to get her work done, like constantly looking down at her phone and being short with her replies. However, the man who is attempting to flirt with her didn’t pick up on them, she says. Auguste says that she didn’t “want to be a news article this week” so she looked for ways to get him to leave her alone as calmly as possible.

She thought that constantly rattling off brusque lies and looking back at her work would do the trick, but the man persisted, asking her why she was studying that particular library and asking her to follow him on Instagram. When she brought up his profile she finally decided to try and end the conversation by stating that she has a boyfriend. He asked if her boyfriend is crazy and she said he was, to which he replied that he bets he is “crazier.”

She says that he ultimately went back to his seat after she “kindly…rejected him” and informed him that she needed to go back to her work. In part two of her story, she says that she felt the need to sneak out of the library because she didn’t want him to see where she was going.


♬ original sound – Danessy Auguste

Auguste explains she took extra precautions to ensure that he wouldn’t follow her to her car, like packing up her belongings without making a noise, walking towards the bathroom without looking behind her in case he was following her, and staying in the bathroom for “a few minutes” to make sure the coast was clear. She then proceeded to walk to her car before driving to her local Starbucks in a roundabout way.

Auguste ended her video by stating that “there is no problem to approaching a woman” but the biggest issue is that many men seem to lack the sensitivity to understand how to handle situations.

Throngs of TikTokers who saw Auguste’s post sympathized with her experience and couldn’t believe how “dense” the man who wouldn’t stop talking to her was. Others shared awkward situations that they’ve been in with men who wouldn’t take no for an answer, or who failed to adequately read social cues. One responder mentioned that they worked at a library circulation desk and that Auguste could’ve approached a librarian if she felt unsafe.

“As a librarian, I can say that you’re more than welcome to ask circ desk workers for assistance if you feel unsafe!” they wrote. “I’m sorry that happened.”

“One time I was brave enough to say no and he kept talking to me and followed me onto the train even tho he was supposed to me taking a different train,” another user shared.

“HATE that we have to take all of these precautions just to maintain a basic level of safety glad you got out of there okay!” one viewer said.

“The amount of men who think the library is a good pick up spot,” another wrote.

“It bothers me so much when people say ‘just say no’ because this literally shows that they won’t take no for an answer and you have to go out of,” one user claimed.

The Daily Dot has reached out to Auguste for further comment via email.

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*First Published: Oct 15, 2022, 8:21 am CDT