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Just when you thought it was safe to shop

In celebration of the anniversary of the seminal movie Jaws, we test the waters at Etsy.


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The music. The teeth. The blood. The horror.

If you were a conscious social being back in June 1975, you probably already know that we’re talking about Jaws, the seminal movie that a then-young Steven Spielberg unleashed onto the world, forever changing how we see the ancient sea creatures.

In honor (or at least in memory) of its release 36 years ago, we trawled Etsy, the DIY crafts site, for shark-themed merchandise and Jaws memorabilia.

For those who aren’t familiar, Jaws, based on the eponymous book by Peter Benchley, stars a great white shark hellbent on chowing down on a small beach town’s best citizens.

If you want to catch up or simply relive that experience you can enjoy a Jaws videodisc, provided you can find a videodisc player. Or you can play the original vinyl soundtrack, again provided you can find a turntable.

But memorabilia aside, Etsy’s core wares are handmade goods. You can find a ton of shark teeth and and shark pictures. But where else will you find a real (not live) shark?

Yep, you can become a proud owner of your very own, once-live stuffed shark for a mere $2,500. (Truth be told, black-tipped reef sharks like the taxidermical specimen on offer are not known for their ferocity even when alive.)

For the the same price, you could also get a shark sculpture.

If you’d prefer to have a smaller part of the shark, you can always go for this shark’s jaw, coated in copper to preserve it, for a mere $85.

You also may choose ceremonial objects, such as this magic wand topped with a shark’s tooth.

Shark attacks, as any expert will tell you, are very rare indeed. In addition, many people have survived attacks and lived long enough to have had movies about them made.

The question you really need to ask is whether Etsy’s waters are safe for your wallet.

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